The Story of Us

This is the tale of how I met and fell in love with The One...

My husband is always bitchingI've noticed that during my blog-therapy sessions...I spend a lot of time throwing The One "under the bus."

Let me get this out of the way first before I begin one of the greatest stories of my life. Honey...Shmoopy...sweet, sweet Love of my Life...let this be both a rude awakening and a public apology. Rude awakening: DUDE...YOU'RE NOT PERFECT!! Public apology: I'm sorry I'm always "throwing you under the bus"...but, look on the bright side...at least I'm bitching on my blog and not in your ear!!

Let me take you back to 1991. I was 15 and have to tell this detail of our story from The One's point of view. He was in the 7-11 getting something to drink and I come in. He says that when he saw me, everyone disappeared...he says everything was in slow motion...he thought I was beautiful and...I don't want to say it was love at first sight, that's so cliche and isn't his style. Let's just say that he was "sprung!" In his words, "this moment in 7-11 is the clearest memory he has from his entire life." To this day, he still remembers what I was wearing and what I was buying at the store. He had to meet me.

He starts asking around to find out who this amazingly, incredibly, breath-takingly...alright, I'll stop...beautiful girl was. He finds out that I am a friend of one of his good friends' girlfriend. She starts talking to me telling me that this guy really wants to go out with me...yada, yada, yada. I see a picture of him and agree. So, we set up a double date.

We go on our date...to ride go carts and play big ball golf...and we clicked immediately. We talked ALL the time, but didn't go on a whole lot of dates because neither one of us could drive. We were together for most of the school year and the summer. I kinda fell in love with him...I don't think I really knew what it was then...I knew I liked him A LOT...but, I didn't know it was love. I was 15...I didn't know JACK SHIT!! Mom...if you're reading this...please look away...scroll down a little bit and just PLEASE...FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE AND GOOD...skip this next sentence!!! That summer, he was my "first."

Silly high school stuff got in the way and after that summer we broke up. Okay, honey...I'll throw myself under the bus...I cheated on him!! I'm sorry, love...how was I supposed to know that I didn't have to look anymore...how was I supposed to know that I had already met The One!!! I WAS FIFTEEN...just 5 years older than a 10 year old...just a rookie teenager!! We didn't have much to do with each other for the rest of our high school days. I tried to apologize because I couldn't quit thinking about him...for years I missed him. I went off to college and would still surprise myself missing him. I would have dreams about him and think about him randomly.

Now to April, 1996...the end of my first year in college. I came home for a weekend to hang out with old friends. We went to a concert in Dallas and bumped into some of the guys we went to high school with. This is the memory that is clearest in my mind from my entire life. Deep Blue Something was playing "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and in my mind...the record scratched, everything was silent and the world moved in slow motion. I saw The One at the back of his group of friends. We were in the middle of this huge crowd and everyone disappeared...I only saw him! Our eyes met and he looked at me in a way that I'll never forget. He raised his eyebrows, his eyes lit up, and smiled the sexiest smile...a smile that I had seen plenty of times, but had taken for granted! In that moment...barely 19 years old...I knew I would never take that smile for granted EVER, EVER again!! We began talking that night, and the next, and the next, and the next....

From there, we built the foundation of one of the most incredible relationships I've ever seen or even heard of. It was built out of admiration, honesty, communication, understanding, compassion, commitment, compromise, laughter, friendship, fidelity, respect, pillow-talk, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...more love than anyone can imagine! It is truly AMAZING what he and I have. This is not just my distorted view of reality, either. Ask anyone who knows us and they will all agree!

The One is my soul mate...we were built for each other...he is the LOVE OF MY LIFE!

He's my lobster!

I leave you with this...

I'm signing off for a few days. We're travelling to Memphis to see my bro and his family.

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe, and delicious holiday. My goal is to gain at least 5...but no more than 6 pounds while we're on holiday!!

Feeling the love!!

Alicia at Two B's And Me surprised me today with a wonderful award! So, thanks a ton, Alicia...thanks for spreading a little love for my blog!!

Let me tell you all my favorite thing about Alicia...she is my musical soul mate. Everytime I visit her blog...I jam to whatever song is on at the time. Her playlist must be huge, because I haven't heard the same song twice...and they are ALL wickedly awesome songs!!!

Want to hear something funny? When Alicia found my blog, she found my post about our son, Joey who passed away. When I was writing this letter to my son...a song kept popping into my head. I couldn't remember the name of the song, or the artist...I could only remember one lyric from the song..."God speed, little man." I was going to write that lyric at the end of my letter to my son...but couldn't remember the song...so, I didn't.

Anyway...fast forward a few days.... Alicia finds my blog through Kam at A Wrinkle in Time and finds my letter to my son and leaves a comment saying that my post, "touched her heart like I wouldn't believe." I link to her blog for the first time to check her out and leave her some love...and what song is playing on her playlist? No, not "Baby's Got Back"..."God Speed" by the Dixie Chicks is playing and my heart melted.

So, thanks again Alicia...the award is greatly appreciated!!

The qualifications to receive the award are:
A. Display a cheerful attitude.
B. Love one another.
C. Make mistakes.
D. Learn from others.
E. Be a positive contributor to the blog world.
F. Love life.
G. Love kids.

The Rules:
1. Must link it back to the creator
2. Post the rules
3. Choose 5 people to give it to
4. Recipients must fit the characteristics above
5. Create a post to share this
6. You must thank the winner

I'm passing this on to one blogger for now...and will add more a little later.

1. Gina at mommy's lost it. Ya'll visit her blog...she's got a great sense of humor, great stories, and a great blog! So, check her out!

The Story of Lily...

This is the tale of how The One Who Doesn't Say Much, came to be...

A few months after Avery's first birthday...I got the itch. My little boy was healthy and happy and getting more independent every day. I knew I wanted our kids close in age...so, I thought it would be a good time to start thinking about another one.

Jake didn't have any objections...he knew the drill and was completely on board. Lily...you are the only one I didn't have to "talk your father into!" So we decide to start "trying". Jake was thinking, "Sweet...months and months of sex...lots and lots of sex...sex, day in and day out...sex morning, noon, and night...more sex than any human can stand!"

Yeah...not so much. How about sex for two weeks, Lily was conceived...and I immediately started having morning sickness. So much so that I wouldn't let Jake near me for the next nine months. Part of the reason I wouldn't let him near me was the morning sickness...then it was the horrible gall bladder attacks I was having while pregnant...then it was the fact that I had a HUGE nine pound baby flipping and flopping between my lungs, my bowels and my bladder...oh yeah, and my extremely painful and inflamed gall bladder!!!

Lily's birth is one of my favorite memories. As long as I've known Jake...I've only seen him brought to tears twice. The first time being when Joey died, of course. The only other time I've seen him cry was when he was holding his baby girl for the first time. It was one of the many, many times I've fallen madly in love with him over the years!

We had our girl. Our precious, quiet, shy, loving, witty, strong, funny, smart, moody, tom-boyish, and oh, so beautiful little Lily Kate. My breath of fresh air in this wild, crazy, and extremely LOUD life with boys. Lily, you were conceived out of love, desire, confidence, contentment, and happiness...a house full of happiness!

Ya wanna know what I did last night??

I was at the Coldplay concert in Dallas...on a school night!!! Jake and I have wanted to see them for years and last night we finally did!

AMAZING SHOW!!! Chris Martin is friggin entertaining! He just flails around, running, jumping, rolling on the floor...all the while singing in one of the most incredible voices there is!

Me: "I wish I could feel music the way he does. I wish music just poured out of me and consumed me the way it does him."

The One: "It would pour out of you that way if 80,000 people were all screaming your name. It would pour out of you if every one of those 80,000 paid you somewhere between $100 and the price of a small car...to see it. It would pour out of you if you were sleeping with Gwenyth Paltrow every night!"

Me: "Yeah, you're probably right."

Ya wanna know the best thing about the show...besides the Platinum Parking pass we had, the VIP entrance, no lines, the Admiral level box seats in a suite at the AAC, and the amazing view we had of the show...it cost us $FREE.95! Yeah...you heard me right...FREE. The tickets were given to us by one of our good friends. We know a guy, who knows a guy! Can you believe that? I can't either!!

Ya wanna know how good of a friend this guy is...he gave us his tickets. He didn't even go to the concert...he said we would enjoy it more than he would. This guy is single and could've used these tickets to get himself laid every night for the next 2 years...but, instead, he gave them to us!!!

We had a blast!!!

The Story of Avery...

This is the tale of how The One Who Knows Everything came to be....

Late November, 1998. We had just lived through one of the worst days of our lives...we had survived the funeral of our first born son.

Jake and I had decided that we needed some time. We weren't exactly ready for parenthood when Joey came along. We were young...I was just 21 and Jake was 22. We decided that we needed to spend some time together, just he and I. Enjoy being newlyweds, travel, relax and regroup after the grueling year we'd had.

After the funeral, I slept for a week. When I say that...I mean it. I actually slept for a week straight. The days were so painful and I desperately tried to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of Joey. Keeping busy turned out to be nearly impossible. I was a stay-at-home mom...without my child.

The house was eerily quiet. There were no diapers to change...no bottles to warm...no cherub face to wake up to every morning. I mean...Jake is a handsome man...but cherub faced, he is not!!! It dawned on me one day...

The day that you become a mother...the day that precious bundle is placed in your arms...you tell yourself that you will be a mother forever. Until the day you die...you will mother this child. You do not allow yourself to even consider the thought of outliving this child...of losing the one who made you a mother.

I found myself, all of a sudden...not a mother anymore. It was sickening, sad and unnatural. I told Jake that I had to be a mom again. I couldn't wait...I couldn't busy myself with travel or a job. I could not "be" until I was a mother again. Jake could see the pain I was in and even though he really wanted to wait...he knew the maternal pull I was feeling was not to be ingored. Avery was conceived just 4 weeks after Joey died.

So, Avery...our smart, honest, LOUD, cautious, obedient, handsome Avery...our leader...the one who will do amazing things in his life...you were conceived out of longing and compassion...fear and sadness...but most of all, the undying love a mother has for her child. You resurrected me...you gave me hope and a reason to live.

Really? For me? Seriously? Aww...you shouldn't have!!

Not only is someone reading my blog...besides my husband who is legally contracted and my mother who is biologically required who both thoroughly enjoy reading it...ANYWAY...someone, namely Kameron at A Wrinkle in Time, actually LIKES my blog. In all honesty it's probably that Kameron is comforted by the fact that at least she's not as bad off as that poor lady over at "Life as we know it...." Thanks, Kam...it is so appreciated and thanks for always stopping by!

Ok, so I'm bucking the "rules" system...here's why...
Not because I don't think any blogs out there are fabulous, but the majority of the ones I read have already received this award! So, I'm in a way cool, way fabulous, totally awesome blogging circle!!

Hi! My name is Nikki and I'm addicted to...

1. Dr.Pepper...I know, I posted a little while back that I was saying so long to my dear friend...well, I promise I've only had one...alright, maybe two...definitely not more than a case of Dr.Pepper since that post! I'm still somewhat addicted...if they had a patch for Dr.Pepper...I'd be on it!

2. Wearing ear plugs to sleep. Don't freak out...I know what you're gonna say. My husband could sleep through a tornado and it's probably not very safe to tune the world out while I sleep. But, years of listening for the whimpers of hungry or sick babies has left me a very light sleeper. The One snores like a freight train and if I don't wear ear plugs...I toss and turn to every little sound. Besides...the kids know that I wear them...so, if they need me in the wee hours of the morn...they lovingly tap me on the forehead to wake me up!

3. Guitar Hero and/or Rockband. I friggin love that game. I fight with the kids about whose turn it is to play. Then when I do get a turn...I totally hog it and never let them back on. It's a little silly, I know...what can I say?

4. Teaching myself how to play the guitar...a real guitar, not a silly video game. This is a recent addiction. I've just started on this endeavor...but, once I start, it's really hard for me to stop. I get lost online searching for new lessons, easy songs, and scales to learn. It's a slow go...my fingertips are numb and have been for 2 weeks now. Will I ever feel them again?

5. Blogging.. It's ridiculous how much time I spend on here. It's actually embarrassing. Reading, writing and planning posts. Since I'm just starting out...I have so many stories about the kids that have happened in the past that I want to get down on paper to save for the kids one day. Besides therapy...I'm hoping that this blog will be fun for the kids to read when they're older. I'm sure they'll hate me for some of it...but I think I can live with that!

The Story of Jack...

This is the tale of how The One Who Gets Away With Murder came to be.

A little after Lily's 1st birthday in October, I started to get the itch...again. Jake knew the look and he knew it all too well. Something about that 1st birthday party always reminded me that the little one was growing up...it would trigger my arms to ache for the feeling of a cradled newborn in my arms...and even to start that crazy first year over again. No...I'm not a sadist...I just have a thing for those tiny little bundles who smile at everything, laugh until they cry and fall asleep wherever they are...as long as it's in their Mommy's arms.

So, the look...Jake responded with a booming, "HELL TO NIZ-O!" He adamently refused to have another baby. Our first born was a tragedy...we managed to have two healthy little boogers...and a boy and a girl, to boot. He was ready to fold his hand, cash in his chips, and head for the hills. I wasn't going to give in that easily...I had always wanted 3 kids...I had always wanted the choreographed chaos of a bigger family.

I decided that if Jake didn't want anymore children...then HE could take care of birth control. I had been on the pill since I was 16 and was tired of taking them everyday and was eager to see what I was like without the daily dose of hormones! Jake was not impressed with my idea. But...I told him that it was his turn.

So, to my surprise, he decided to call my bluff. He made an appointment for a consultation for a vasectomy. I went with him...I was not going to miss this. The doctor took us to the room where the procedure would be performed...now remember...we're talking about a little in-office procedure...NOT surgery. Not a surgery like the 3 cesarean sections that I endured to birth his 3 children! No scalpels slicing 6 inch incisions into his abdomen...no doctors thrusting their arms elbow deep into his belly...no nurse sitting on top of his chest trying to push a 9 pound baby down and out through a hole that seemed way too small...no catheters, no stool softeners, no bleeding, no staples, no sore nipples...none of it. Just a simple little ole procedure...a little snip-snip, if you will.

Now...I knew the look that came over Jake's face when he was hit with the cold sterility of the procedure room. He turned white as a sheet and started swallowing a little harder...clenched his knees together and his voice raised an octive, or two. He managed to set up an apointment for December 11th...then ran as fast as he could out of the office. I was starting to think he might go through with it.

Over the next few weeks, I threw in a few last ditch efforts to change his mind. Turns out...they either worked, or were never needed. Just 5 days before the scheduled procedure...Jake called and cancelled and came home with a big ole box of condoms! While some would see this as a man planning on using birth control...I saw this as a ray of hope. Anyone who's had sex with a man knows how bad he hates condoms...even if that thin sheath of latex is the only thing standing in the way of another mouth to feed.

I'll spare you these details...but one drunken night of passion and 7 days later...Jack was conceived! So, Jack...you are the product of compromise, negotiation, perseverance, stubborness, sacrifice, and unfortunately, an evil scheme plotted by your mother...your father's fear of needles...a few too many shots of Patron...your fathers disdain for condoms...oh, and, of course, the love that we share!

Doesn't matter which way you cut it...we got Jack...sweet, crazy, wild, fearless, funny, adorable, brown-curly locked, big blue-eyed, determined, strong-willed, so much fun to have around...Jack!! I can't imagine our lives without him!!!

The Reveal...

Oh Freud...you and your crazy ideas!!

I'm pretty confident that we are smack in the middle of the Oedipal stage with The One Who Gets Away With Murder. As weird as it is...it's comforting to know that it's pretty natural.

Jack will occasionally get in bed with us in the middle of the night since he's still terrified of the dark. Most of the time I deny him access and tell him to go back to his room, but every once in a while...he will sneak in unnoticed.

Last night I was putting him to bed and this is what the child says...

Me -- Hey kid...stay in your bed tonight...stay out of mine, okay?

Him -- Why?

Me -- Because...there isn't enough room for all of us in the bed.

Him -- There's only 3 of us in the bed...you, me, and Daddy.

Me -- I know...and that's one too many.

Him -- Well, we'll just tell Dad to leave.

Me -- No, son...Mommy's and Daddy's sleep in the same bed...and you sleep in your bed.

Him -- But...you're my honey!!

Soooo darn cute...with just a dash of creepy!

Father Time...you can kiss my a**!!!!

You think I'm going down that easy...well you thought wrong. You think you can just swoop in here all in the same year and jack with my eyesight and sprout gray sprigs of hair out of the top of my head...yeah you better check ya self, bro!!! You don't know me...you don't know who you're messing with. I'm gonna call a couple of hard, pipe-hitting brothers...they'll go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', old timer?! I ain't through with you! By a damn sight. I'm gonna get medieval on yo' ass!

You talking to me?

Many moons ago, when The One Who Knows Everything (later referred to as TOWKE) was a wee lad...and I'm talking wee...like 18 months old, or so...he started calling me Nikki. I think most kids do it at some point when they're learning that you are other things to other people...and not only their mom. We would correct him and say, "No, not Nikki, Momma." Well that kinda took a wrong turn somewhere and before long TOWKE was calling me, "Nikki the Momma."

It always reminded me of that show Dinosaurs. Do ya'll remember that show? When the baby would say, "Not the Momma, not the Momma," and beat the dad over the head with something. Wow...thank God for reality television, right??!!??

I later joked that 'Nikki the Momma' would be my name if I was a gangster. Instead of Tony Curtains, or Jimmy The Ape...you know what I'm talking about. What would your gangster name be?

Ode to Jack, by Nikki B.

Oh, the places you'll pee...

Little boy, little boy
Where do you pee?
You pee outside.
Under the tree.

You pee in the grass.
You pee in the pool.
You pee at the field.
You pee at school.

You pee on the wall,
You pee on the floor.
You pee on the curtains.
And even the door.

You pee on your socks..
You pee on your shoes.
You pee as much
As a cow moos.

You pee on your brother.
You pee in your eye.
You pee without looking.
Oh, how I could cry.

Little boy, little boy
Where do you pee?
You pee all over.
You’ve peed on me.

Why do little boys pee EVERYWHERE? I'm not really concerned with the outdoor peeing, but the peeing that goes on in the bathroom is what makes me want to slit my wrists. When I clean the kids toilet...I have to scrub baseboards, as high on the walls as their penises can fire, the cabinets, wash shower curtains, clean the sides of the bathtub, the ENTIRE toilet, and anything else you can think of...it's probably soaked with urine, as well.

I picture him in there...initially having every intention of hitting the toilet...then I don't know, maybe he hears a noise...I picture him spinning 360 degrees...STILL PEEING...showering the entire bathroom with urine. You wanna know the cleanest spot in the bathroom? Inside the toilet!! I don't know if he's ever peed in there!!!

**UPDATE**I read the poem to Jack and he said..."Uh...how'd you know, mom?"

Jingle bells, shotgun shells...Robin laid an egg!

So, Christmas is coming and I'm excited. My favorite part of the holiday...besides spending time with family, of course...oh and besides the AMAZING food...well, we can't forget all the presents...that's a good part, too...

Okay...ONE of my MANY favorite things about the holiday is our holiday cards. Last night my husband and I came up with our idea for this years photo and I can't wait to do it.

Thought I'd share my holiday cards from the past 2 years.




Not meaning to brag...well, yeah, I am kinda meaning to brag...our holiday cards are somewhat famous around these parts.

A couple of examples for you...a couple of years ago a friend of ours invited us to a holiday party at his friends house. We had never met this new friend and didn't have plans, so we went. When we got there, and our Christmas card, "Happy Friggin Holidays", was on his mantle...on the mantle of a couple who we'd never met. He saw the card at our friends house and asked for a copy of it to display!

Another story...this past weekend while we're in Austin...we're sitting at a dive bar with our friend who we were visiting and in walks some friends of his. The guy comes up, Tucker introduces us to him and he says, "Where do I know you from?" We ramble about the places we've been and schools, etc..., to try to find something in common...then it hits him. He says, "Ooooh, I know...you guys are the one on the gangster Christmas card." We laugh, sign some autographs...and he was on his way.

Alright, my humility has returned...but still, cheesy kids and parents smiling in sweater vests, wear me out!!!

Take this bra and shove it...

i'm moving to austin and becoming a hippie!!!!

i've lived in texas all my life and this weekend i went to austin for the first time EVER!!! THIRTY ONE YEARS OLD a considerable number of years older than 21 and never been to austin!! can you believe that?

FRIGGIN LOVE THAT PLACE! they are my kinda people.

what i found most intriguing was that there is no economic status there and hardly gender. everyone is just the casual, laid back, hippie-type...who am i kidding...they ARE hippies. check this out:



but, we were at a music festival and i was people watching...thousands of people...and although everyone was so different and unique...they were all the same, in that, i couldn't tell if any one of them might be a CEO of a huge corporation just chillin for the weekend, or if he was a hobo about to panhandle. so as far as economic status...there was none...everyone was equal.

so many blue jeans and flip flops and no fuss, no makeup...hair just there...not all done up. so many times i had a hard time determining gender. for example...i was behind this couple while one of the bands was playing...he was this very thin, very feminine man...there with his girlfriend who was equal height and weight as him, and she had these huge man-hands. from behind i had no idea who they were...i had to look at them from the front to see if they were 2 gay men...2 lesbian women...or a heterosexual couple. not that it mattered...just curiousity

I FRIGGIN LOVED IT!!! everyone was equal...all there for a common purpose...to listen and appreciate a myriad of music!!

I'M MOVING THERE!!!

10 years ago today, I changed forever...

Dear Joey,

I will not go through the list of things that I should have done...or things that I could have done...or knowing what I know now, the things I would have done. For, there is no use in pondering the would've's and the could've's...they only bring pain.

I knew this day was different. I knew this time was not like the other times we thought we might lose you. I knew you were gone...a mother knows. The doctors and nurses tried to give us a little hope...they tried to tell us that there was a small chance. Our family, didn't even want to think it. They would say, "Nikki, you've seen him do this before and he makes it...he always pulls through." "Not this time," I'd say, "he can't make it this time."

I could see that you were tired. I could see that you didn't want or need to fight anymore. No one so small, and so fragile, yet so perfect in my eyes should have to fight that hard to breathe, to live.

I remember being alone in the room with you...the nurse who kept trying to point out little signs that might mean that you would be okay...had just left the room. I stood next to your bed, I was stroking your arm and do you remember what I said? I leaned in close to you and whispered, "You can go now...you don't have to fight for me anymore." It was the sweetest, simplest, purest, most sublime moment I'd experienced and continues to be to this day. Just a few hours later the tests confirmed what I already knew...a mother always knows.

You lived your life...all 10 months and 21 days of it...for others, from the beginning until the bittersweet end, you held on. Month after month, day after day, minute after minute you would fight for us...sharing your smiles and sharing your warmth. All those nights in the hospital rooms...the three of us talking, playing, laughing, and crying...you bonded your father and I together forever. We were so young and so naive, and you showed us what love is. I thank you for that, and when your brothers and sister are old enough to know the story...they will thank you, too.

You held on for her...you knew when she would need you. Your tiny, perfect little heart..the symbolic essence of who you are...it was so strong. Your other organs were beginning to fail...but, your heart beat on. Just as it does today. Ten years later, she is because of you. I know her family thanks you for that...and when she is older and has a better understanding...she will, too.



Thank you, son, I am a better person because of you.

I love you like crazy and miss you even more,
Mommy

Burning down the house...

WOW...don't you just love those phone calls you get from the school. When you see the number you kinda hope your child puked, or peed in their shoes, or broke their arm on the playground...because the alternative is...dum, dum, dum, dum...DISCIPLINARY ACTION.

I got a phone call today and unfortunately, the reason was the latter.

The One Who Gets Away With Murder, well...he damn near did!

His teacher informs me that Jack brought my zippo lighter to school. Remember my zippo...my gift from the Marlboro Man? You know, the one that is definitely NOT AT ALL childproof and lights very easily with just the slightest roll of the wheel...the one that is filled with toxic and highly flamable lighter fluid...the one that SHOULD UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be left within a childs reach...Yeah...that one!

Do you know what could have happened with my zippo? My kid could've burned down the school...my kid could have caught his best friend, Joe's, socks on fire...MY KID COULD HAVE LOST MY LIGHTER!!!

While this is really atrocious...do you want to know what the first thing to cross my mind was? Thank GOD he didn't take something to school from the bottom drawer of my nightstand beside the bed...because THAT would've been bad!

Another good thing...I knew I was doing well in the Shittiest Mom of the Year race...well, I think we can all agree that after this...it's pretty much in the bag!

Did you feel that?

I'm hoping it was the winds of change that I was feeling yesterday!!!

I'll admit I had a huge problem with handing the reigns of our nation over to someone with the middle name, Hussein. That was my hangup. So much so that I didn't really follow the election...like I said before I considered it a big joke.

But, I made myself watch Obamas's acceptance speech Tuesday night and was quite impressed.

I don't care what color you are or what your religion...what happened here was amazing. Before the decision...I was losing a little faith in our country. I had lost a little pride in being an American. But, sitting in front of the tv watching the president elect speak for the first time...I have to say that I am very proud of our nation.

We've come a long way and there's no telling where we'll go from here. Go us!

Don't hold this against me...

I was at a friends house the other night and he whips out these classic country CD's...like this huge boxed set. The kind that some dear member of his family probably bought for the low, low price of $19.95...plus $6.95 shipping and handling. I bet they even got some Kinoki Detox Foot Pads thrown in for free!

So, I was taken back to my childhhood and the music I listened to with my family. At all of our family functions...Christmases, birthdays, summer-time barbecues...my Grandy-John and my Uncle would play the guitar while my aunt sang. They would sing those classic country songs...not Garth Brooks...no, I'm talking classic! I'm talking Willie, Waylon and the Boys!!!

By the power of Greyskull....I am the power!!!

Me: C'mon buddy, we have to run to the store.

Jack: But, I'm playing video games.

Me: There, I paused it, now let's go.

Jack: Oh man...now I'm gonna lose and it's gonna be over when we get back.

Me: No it won't...I paused it, it will be exactly where you left it.

Jack: How do you know?

Me: Because...I'm the Mom and I know things.

Jack: Because you're the Mom and you're the Master.

Me: Yes, son...because I am the Master of the Universe...say it.

Jack: (quizzically) Mom is the Master of the Universe??"

Me: Good job...now buckle up!



Brought back so many memories of my brother pinning me to the ground and telling me that he wouldn't let me up until I said, "You are the master." He would say, "Who is the master?"...I would say, "You are." He would say, "Say, Rusty is the Master." I would say, "Rusty is a scumbag." He would then threaten my life and start tickling me while I was being held down...which is my kryptonite! Finally, I would fold and say it, "Rusty, you are the Master."He would let me go....for the time being, anyway!

No wonder I'm so claustrophobic!!!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

The bedtime routine has always been tough.

I remember how tiring it used to be teaching a newborn about the difference between day and night. I remember how wild it was trying to wind a toddler down at the end of the day. I remember when Avery was new to a big boy bed and would get up over and over again to try to get out of sleeping...sometimes I would return him to his room 20 times in one night! I remember doing this all at the same time...all in one night...nursing Jack as a newborn, singing Lily to sleep and talking Avery into sleeping for a little while...all at the SAME TIME. I look back at those days and wonder how I survived. But, I did and now my challenges are a little different.

This is our new bedtime routine...

The kids clear the table while Jake makes himself comfy on the couch. I begin cleaning the kitchen. Jake signs folders, checks homework and listens to Lily read...he does all of this whilst still firmly planted on said couch and with one eye on whatever ball game is on. Since half of his attention is on the ballgame and the other half is pretending to listen to Lily read...I am left screaming at the top of my lungs for the boys to get ready for bed...as I have to be heard over the running water since I'm washing dishes, the garbage disposal, the ballgame, Lily's reading and whatever commotion the boys are causing. Every 3 minutes...I scream at the boys which prompts Jake to echo my screams in order to keep up the charade that he is actually helping out! This goes on for about 25-30 minutes. Just about the time that I finish the kitchen, the chaos has crescendoed to an unbareable intensity and I'm ready to explode. Through clenched teeth and with an anger in my voice that would make the devil himself a little afraid...I shriek, "The beatings are about to begin!!!" The children scatter like roaches and the silence that ensues is golden...I bathe in it for a few minutes, then take a deep breath, then go in to finish the job.

When I walk into their rooms, the devil-lady is gone and their Mommy has returned. One at a time, I sit down with each of them. We chit chat for a few minutes, I talk about silly things with Lily, about her friends and what happended at school. Avery and I talk about things that he knows that I surely do not. Jack and I will sing songs and I rub his back. Before I kiss them goodnight, I always ask them..."Who's the best little boy/girl in the whole world?" They will say, "Me?", sometimes quizzically, sometimes they will rattle off a list of other boys and girls just to be silly, then they will smile and say, "I am." Then, I say, "Who's the luckiest Mommy in the whole world?"...to that they say, "You are." I kiss each of them on the bridge of their nose, which is my favorite place on each of their faces...and the day is done.

It's magical...my day goes from utter pandemonium to pure pleasure in a matter of minutes. I wouldn't change a second of it...not the screaming, not the chaos, not the fighting...none of it...for the reward at the end of the day is just too, too sweet!

Patience is NOT MY virtue...

Patience is something I really need to work on. I don't think I've ever been a patient person and I think it's really annoying...to me and to others.

I rush everything...I think that's why this nursing school thing is already such a challenge for me. I guess I don't have too many things that I've had to really wait for...or work really, really hard for. Wait...this makes me sound like a spoiled brat. I guess it makes me sound that way because I kinda am...UGHHHH...who wants to admit that!!!! Okay, you can't change what you don't acknowledge...so, Step 1...acknowledge that you're a spoiled, rottten, brat...CHECK!

In high school, I never had to study to make straight A's...it didn't work that way in college right out of high school, so I couldn't hack it. I was even really impatient when it came to getting married. Jake and I wanted to get married on the beach in Mexico, but we had to wait 2 weeks for a blood test and I didn't want to wait...part of it was timing because Joey was out of the hospital...but mostly, it was beacause I didn't want to wait 2 weeks...so we hopped a plane to Vegas and tied the knot.

I remember being horribly impatient when I was pregnant and I remember begging my doctor to deliver those kids just a few days earlier than he wanted. Hell...I won't even let Jack poop while we're out shopping or out to eat because he is a slow pooper and takes his sweet time and I don't have the patience to stand in the public restroom and wait for him. I'm probably doing serious psychological damage to the child by rushing his bowels the way I do!!!

So, it's settled...I'm going to get a jump on my New Year's Resolution this year and REALLY try to learn to be patient!

I'm concerned...

I'm not looking forward to Tuesday. I was kinda hoping Allen Funt was going to do a press release and yell..."Ha Ha Ha, America...we got you, you're all on Candid Camera!" But, I'm starting to think these nominees are for real!!!

I don't know much about politics, but I do know that this election seems like a HUGE CROCK!!!!

“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters

Oh What a Night..

We had a blast...the kids ended up choosing a witch, an army man, and Darth Maul. The kids scored butt-loads of candy, but unfortunately, over 3/4 of it was poisoned, damaged, or questionable and had to be confiscated by Jake and I. That's our story and we're sticking to it!

This was the first year that we didn't trick-or-treat with all the kids. Lily had more important things to do. She was invited to a party and trick-or-treated with her friend Kody from school. She was so cute...took a shower, wanted to crimp and streak her hair, painted her nails....oh man...I'm not ready for all that. The little boy even called her to make sure she was coming...we better buckle our seatbelts!!!

Hope ya'll had fun...we sure did!