Burning down the house...

WOW...don't you just love those phone calls you get from the school. When you see the number you kinda hope your child puked, or peed in their shoes, or broke their arm on the playground...because the alternative is...dum, dum, dum, dum...DISCIPLINARY ACTION.

I got a phone call today and unfortunately, the reason was the latter.

The One Who Gets Away With Murder, well...he damn near did!

His teacher informs me that Jack brought my zippo lighter to school. Remember my zippo...my gift from the Marlboro Man? You know, the one that is definitely NOT AT ALL childproof and lights very easily with just the slightest roll of the wheel...the one that is filled with toxic and highly flamable lighter fluid...the one that SHOULD UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be left within a childs reach...Yeah...that one!

Do you know what could have happened with my zippo? My kid could've burned down the school...my kid could have caught his best friend, Joe's, socks on fire...MY KID COULD HAVE LOST MY LIGHTER!!!

While this is really atrocious...do you want to know what the first thing to cross my mind was? Thank GOD he didn't take something to school from the bottom drawer of my nightstand beside the bed...because THAT would've been bad!

Another good thing...I knew I was doing well in the Shittiest Mom of the Year race...well, I think we can all agree that after this...it's pretty much in the bag!