Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dear Nikki...

Yesterday, I received a solicitation for advice. Why someone would seek my advice, befuddles the hell outta me, but, this is a tough social situation that moms can find themselves in quite often.

Here goes...

Dear Nikki,

I have this friend who occasionally will watch my children for me. Truth be told, I watch hers far more than she watches mine and when she DOES watch mine, she generally just makes my oldest watch hers, and mine. So she really doesn’t do a whole lot. Which is irritating but not the problem I want to address. The problem is this:

The last time she watched my kids my oldest wasn’t there. One of my kids pooped his pants (totally out of the ordinary for him!) and apparently she FREAKED out. My older one said that she was ripping his clothes off of him and screaming at him that it was UNACCEPTABLE. She barely wiped him and put him in the shower and was STILL yelling at him about how he was being a baby and only babies pooped themselves. My boy was crying and my older one was trying to console him and said “It’s ok, it was just an accident.” And my friend yelled, “It’s NOT ok it’s completely UNACCEPTABLE. Don’t tell him it’s OK.”

When I got there to pick them up I asked why he was wearing different clothes. She said he pooped and they had a stern talking but they were friends again. No sooner did we get into the car when my boy was telling me how my friend yelled at him and screamed at him and he started crying again. My older one said that she was totally screaming and yelling and related the story, above, as I just retold it to you.

I haven’t exactly known how to deal with this situation. I’ve disciplined her kids when they were here because they are little monsters that literally climb over my gates and up my walls and pilfer food from cupboards. But I don’t yell at them and berate them. I put them in time out and tell them that it’s not ok for that behavior to happen. Because of all of this, I haven’t really spoken to her since the incident nearly a month ago. The more I think about it the more upset I get.

Am I over reacting? Under reacting? Should I say something to her or just never leave my kids over there again? We’ve been friends for 12 years so I’d hate to just toss it out the window, but it’s NOT ok for her to treat my children that way, even if she was having a bad day and my kid pooped himself.

Any advice?
Mama Bear

My advice...

Dear Mama Bear,

I know a guy who'll do a good job. I've used him in the past. He's a professional. He'll keep it clean, he can't be traced. He can break her legs, rearrange her face, or...more. You just say the word, and it's as good as done.

So...will ya help me, help her out?

What would YOU do??

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