For as long as I can remember, I've had a fear of drowning. I can handle swimming pools, but lakes, oceans, and rivers freak me out. I will go boating on the lake, but, in my head, I am constantly plotting my escape in case we capsize. As much as I would love to travel to Europe and Australia...I am too afraid to fly over oceans. The One really wants to go on a cruise...yeah, I DON'T THINK SO!! I'm no moron...I saw Titanic!!
I've thought long and hard, but, I don't remember a specific event that might've triggered my fear. I've even thought a little on past lives. I don't know if I really buy into that idea, but I did read a good book on it called, Only Love is Real.
I went so far as to do a craniosacral therapy session with the owner of the yoga studio I used to work for, to address headaches, jaw pain, TMJ, and my fear of water. He did some guided imagery taking me back to times where I began clenching my jaw and holding onto pain. And, more than a few times, water came up. Images of raging rivers kept popping into my head. An image of a pond that I visited frequently as a child came to mind. I envisioned myself sitting next to it, at night...the moon was reflected off the water, which was dark and ink-like. Very eerie! These images weren't necessarily memories, but, they might've been.
Anyway, this weekend, I faced my fears and went boating with some of our good friends. Now, getting my ass on a boat is one thing...but, skiing and wakeboarding and tubing...that is just ridiculous! Why in the hell would I want to be drug around the lake...white knuckling every second of the ride, until my fingers give out, or the sadist driving the boat goes fast enough, or turns hard enough to throw me off!! Sounds like a blast to me!!!
I discovered that all it takes to conquer my fear, is a little Red Bull and vodka. Okay, a little more than a little. Fine...A LOT of Red Bull and vodka is all I need to face my fears!
Would you just look at my face...can't you see the terror!!