Orgasm...

...rhymes with sarcasm, which happens to be my thing.

I knew that title would get your attention, ya sick bastards!!

Sarcasm pours from me. Really it does...all the time. I can't turn it off. It gets me into trouble every time I turn around. Especially with people who don't know me. To a stranger, my sarcasm is often translated into me just being a bitch...aaaaaaand sometimes that shoe fits, too.

I stick my foot in my mouth a lot...I do a ton of back-peddling in conversations...I have to explain myself so often. Mostly to people who don't know me. Believe it or not, there are a handful of people that have decided that they could put up with my mouth and call me their friend.

Yeeeeeeeeah, it's actually only one person and I married him so that he would be contractually bound to stick around...and reproduced with him so that he'd have to pay me lots of money if he ever decides tries to run!

Anywho...

There have been a lot of prayer requests going on in the blogosphere lately. Awful pictures of sick kids and dying babies and pleas from everyone and their dog to drop to your knees to pray. Well, we've already talked about that.

But, it's so hard for me to turn off the sarcasm. Like yesterday, I was chit-chatting with my friend, Bubbles, on the topic of prayer. And I said:

"No way, pray away, my friend...tell the big guy I said hello."

Now, I know people take their praying quite seriously...and that's awesome. The thing is, I wasn't mocking prayer...it's just this damned satirical part of my brain that just spits this shit out of my mouth or fingertips before I can even blink.

Another example...I was reading a blog today about an answered prayer. I wanted my bloggy friend to know that I read her post and was thinking about her, so I typed:

"Yay Jesus!"

I did stop myself on this one...I backspaced and ended up not commenting at all. Since I have posted about my personal beliefs, I thought this one might come across as nothing but smug. It was most def not intended that way.

I guess what I'm saying...is that with all these "Please pray for ________" buttons and posts, I'm at a loss as to how to comment. So, if you find a "Yay Jesus" on your comment page of a prayer request...I swear to Jahosephat that it was not meant to offend.

It's just my "I-get-stupidly-satirical-when-I-don't-know-what-else-to-say" way of saying "I'm thinking about you." Deal??

Sorry about "crying wolf" on the whole orgasm thing...we still cool?