This is what I find when I delve into the corners of my mind...
This movie, Time Bandits, that I used to watch when I was a kid...really scared the shit out of me. I was always terrified, but would watch it over and over...and I don't know why. WTF?? What's worse...I got the movie for my kids, and made them watch it. I can't tell if they, too, were frightened...but, I sure as hell didn't watch it with them.
Why can't Phillipa, the British bitch on my GPS, just do her job? When I need her most...like to circumnavigate a traffic jam...she thinks I'm in some other part of the state.
And I'm all, "Phillipa, WTF? I need you right now!"
And she's all, "Enta Mota-way in threehundred feet..." in her hoity toity accent.
And I'm all, "Eff it, Phillipa, I don't need you!! I'll find my own way!!"
Then I turn her ass off!! Effing foreigners!!!
Say, you lost a finger. Then, had one of your toes surgically transplanted onto your hand to replace it, because for argument's sake...let's say it was one of the better fingers...like the thumb, or the index finger...or, my personal fave, 'Tall Man.' Well, in order to get your new finger (that used to be a toe) to wiggle, would your brain have to send the "wiggle my toe" command...or the "wiggle my finger" command??
I don't know why we bought a four bedroom house, with 2200 square feet...because all five of us are always within three feet of each other. For example, all 5 of us, plus the dog, on the 3 seater couch watching TV...all 5 of us in the 10 x 10 bathroom while I'm trying to evacuate my colon...four of us lurking over the shoulder of the one person who is on the computer, waiting for our turn...it's RIDICULOUS! We're like a family of goddamn rattlesnakes!!