Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Contemplating motherhood?

Lindsay at The Musings of the Mrs. was asking for opinions about motherhood, and pregnancy, and babies...and when is the right time to do it all. So, this...is a letter to a fellow blogger who asked for an HONEST opinion...

Dear Lindsay,

This letter isn't in any way meant to deter you from becoming a mom. I'm all for procreating...obviously. I would just like to share with you a few tidbits that no one tells you about motherhood.

Speaking from a primal, animalistic, perspective...I feel that babies are born kinda cute and cuddly so that we won't kill them. Because if they were ugly and nasty...AND woke us up every two hours, cried all the time and shit in our beds...we would never keep them, and most likely would not let them survive. From an evolutionary standpoint, I feel the human race would have died out long ago if babies were ugly.

So, when you tell people that you are "trying." They immediately think of that pink, delicious smelling, peacefully sleeping, precious little bundle of a baby. They get all gushy and gooey and tell you how wonderful it is. They aren't lying to you. When they are freshly bathed, content, and sleeping peacefully...motherhood is fucking AWESOME!!

People also say that motherhood is "rewarding." They aren't lying to you, but do you know what else is "rewarding?" Surviving a plane crash. Enduring the death of a loved one. Failing, but being able to persevere. Trials and tribulations are rewarding in life...you get where I'm going with this? It's gonna suck sometimes, but it's gonna not suck just enough to keep you in the game.

I recently overheard this bit of advice from one deluded mother to a newbie, "Remember, the first 6 weeks is the hardest. Once you make it past that, it's so much fun." BULL-FUCKING-SHIT, man. This is a BOLD-FACED LIE. I'd like to rip that woman's tongue from her head for spreading such a farse. I've been at it for 12+ years...and it ain't gettin' any easier. It's just getting...different. Just when you think you have it down...have mastered a phase...the kid moves on to the next. The game changes, new rules, new players...back to square one.

Having said all that, there is nothing in the WORLD like watching your husband melt, as his baby girl is placed in his arms. You'll see a whole new side of him, and fall in love with him in a way you didn't know was possible. There is also nothing in the WORLD like watching your little boy talk, and act, and dress like his daddy...out of pure and utter admiration.

My honest opinion...go for it. You will feel new depths of love, pride, heartache, pain, sacrifice, vulnerability, joy, and satisfaction. Motherhood is "wonderful", and "rewarding", and absolutely "worth it."

All the best to you,
Nikki

10 comments:

Kameron said...

Truer (is that a word?) word were never spoken! I love that you lay your cards out for all to see. My friend is pregnantfor the first time and I'm pretty sure I've scared her shitless with my honesty, but she is more prepared and not delusional!

Alicia said...

You couldn't have said it any better than that Nikki.

Melissa said...

What a friendto write a letter like that! So true...

Sneaky Momma said...

Great letter, Nikki. You tell it like it is, which is exactly what people wishing to become parents need to hear.
I remember when my little ones were screaming infants. They had these little sleepers that said "I love you, Mommy" on them. I used to think that it was so nice of those companies to put that on newborn clothes. Lord knows I needed to hear it! :)

Musings of the Mrs. said...

Really well thought out. Thank you so much for your honest opinion. That was really great of you. It is for all the reasons you listed (the good ones, and even the overcoming challenging ones) that I really want to be a mom. It seems like its a huge crazy decision (not an intuitive one at all), but because I read all these blogs, at least I get to see different sides and probably make a more informed decision than if I didn't have blogging friends. Thanks so much for a letter to me!!!

Donnetta said...

AWWW - let me wipe the tear from my eye....

heidi said...

True dat, yo.

Kimmy said...

Yep, you definitely took the words right out of my mouth!!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Well that just about sums it up..honestly, literally and everything in between! Great post! For sure!!! =)

Rassles said...

I am not contemplating motherhood any time soon...probably because I don't even know if I can properly take care of myself yet. But then again, you know...nothing will make you grow up faster than responsibility.