Thursday, October 22, 2009

Scrooge...

It's coming.

No matter how deep I dig my heels into October, it's coming to an end. I'm sure November is gonna do the same damn thing. Then, December will come along, thumbing her nose at me, as she whizzes right by!

Yes, December is a she...cuz she's a bitch!!

I lovelovelovelove spending time with family and all the good food during the holidays.

That's it!!

I hate every other part of it!!

It's ridiculous. I bet if Jesus were here, he would even think it was a little silly. I always hear, "Jesus is the reason for the season." I call bullshit on that.

I can guarantee that kids only have their minds on one man during the holidays...and sorry, Jesus, that man is Santa!!

I can also guarantee that Jesus was the furthest thing from my mind last year when I had a glass or two, too much wine, and verbally assaulted my SIL, over a giant chartreuse purse, during a Chinese gift exchange. We're still cool, though. It wasn't the first time it happened...and it likely, won't be the last!

Speaking of Chinese gift exchanges, no one was thinking about Jesus when Jake and I someone wrapped up a GI-normous summer sausage and two cheeseballs up, to look like...well, the male genitalia, because we thought it was hilarious they were sick and twisted!! And the rest of the family wasn't thinking about Jesus either, when they gave it to Jake's grandmother to open!!

I digress...

Alas, there is one more part of the holidays that I heart. It's actually my fave-avorite part of all...

HOLIDAY CARDS!!

We plan these year/s in advance because we have so much fun. The kids love it, and it's a blast seeing what we can come up with each year!

Here are the last three year's cards...

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Last night we photographed and I worked on this year's Christmas card! Dude, I'm stoked!

I was talking about it on Facebook, and people were calling me 'over achiever' and 'show off.' I would like to address those claims.

First, I am anything BUT an over achiever. I have, and from what I can tell, always will, do the bare minimum to squeak by. I set goals and work for them. However, I will slack off in the beginning, but finish HELLA strong!! It's just how I roll, yo. I'm lazy. Lazy people are NOT over-achievers!!

Second, the claims that I'm a 'show off.' Well, that may be partly true, but these holiday cards are the only joy I get out of the season. I hate Christmas. All the shopping, all the wrapping, all the stress, the financial drain, all the 'I want this, I want that'!! Ugh...it makes me clench my teeth just thinking about it!! Anyway, these cards are my most favorite part...so, maybe I'm showing off. But, Dammit Jim, just let me have my moment, 'kay?!

I'm dying to show you 2009's card, but, I think I should at least wait until after Halloween to get them out!!

Oh, yeah! That reminds me. Some of you bloggy friends of mine, have become well, friends. If you would trust me, and you don't think it's too weird, I'd love to have some of your addresses for when we send out cards. If you wouldn't mind emailing them to me.

I guess if you don't trust me, and you do think it's too weird...then, we just aren't that good of friends, now are we? And, I'm hurt!

19 comments:

Melinda Arnold said...

I hate christmas, by the end of all the shopping crap I'm ramming old ladies in walmart with my cart.
Would love a card! I was tempted to print out the ones on your blog.

Alicia W. said...

Dude! they get better and better each year and I can't wait to see this years. You can bet your sweet ass that I'll be emailing you my address and you should in return email me yours so our faces can be plastered somewhere in the bullock household. :)

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

I just gotta get this card...you and a good friend of mine..each year she picks a totally un related theme *like Dukes of Hazzard* it is hilarious!!!!

Address is coming!!! If I am considered a friend!

Kameron said...

I can't wait to see what you came up with this year! You are hilarious and I love the past 3 years' cards! I am pretty sure you already have my address, but let me know if you don't! I don't wanna miss out having you guys on my mantle!

Allie said...

OK, the whole time I was looking at those cards I was thinking....how the hell am I gonna get on the Bullock's C'mas card list? They are my favorite part of the year too; well getting them, not sending them...cause let's be honest, the single girl on a Christmas card with her dog is just plain sad! I live on the same street as Jessica L. (that's how I found your blog) perhaps we could share a card 1/2 of december I get it & 1/2 of december she gets it?

Anonymous said...

I better get one! You got my address,right? In case you forget, it's on Jake's leg. Holla! - Ern

Stacey said...

I love those cards, and I can't wait to see this years! I agree.. I hate all the shopping and gifts, but I love all the decorations, food, family, little baby jesus, etc....

momma23 said...

Your cards crack me up; if I had gotten one in the mail, it'd probably stay up all year long, just for a good laugh. Can't wait to see this year!

Mama SeWELL said...

those are too great! i love the bizzles card...word to yo mama!
I wanna know who takes the picture??

Cat said...

Fo Shizzle! Those are the best cards ever!!! Wow!!! I did see your comment about being done with holiday cards on facebook. It never came into my mind that we should actually mock the process of getting a holiday picture. Maybe I should rethink this!!

I love these!!! I love your recap of this too...lazy people aren't over achievers!! Ha!

Brooke said...

Your cards are great!!! I'd surely like one on my mantle. And I think you could make some good money coming up with cool themes to sell to people for their cards. I love 'em!

Kristine said...

Very clever you are!!! I love last years card!! Can't wait to see what you are doing this year!!

Bridget said...

Love your cards! It looks like you all have lots of fun coming up with them!!

hsdiva said...

Your cards are AWESOME, Nikki. I wish I had that kind of creativity. I'm always doing my cards at the last freaking minute, and I'm lucky if I get them out before New Years. Last year I kept putting it off and putting it off, and finally got started addressing them in FEBRUARY. I finally said "screw it" and bagged on cards for last year. This year I have vowed to get them done earlier. But OCTOBER? You are far more ambitious and organized than I!!!

By the way, I hate Christmas too. I'm dreading every part of it -- the lists, the shopping, the obligations. Ugh.

Kimmy said...

These are AWESOME!!! Love it! :O)

And I TOTALLY think of you as a friend. I would love to have a card and I would hope you'll forward your address as well. I'll get mine to you in a few. :o)

Mind Of Mindi said...

LOL! Can I hire you to design my cards?
Something funny my 5 year old son said the other day, "Mom there are only 3 people in the world that can say the WORST swear word-God, Jesus, and Santa." Yep, Santa is right up there next to God (or before him :) Funny he thought of god to use the worst swear word.

Heidi said...

OMG You just made my day remembering I get one of these awesome cards. I LOVE your Christmas cards.... they rock. And believe me, to make my day right now is a pretty hard thing to do....many thanks!

Stacey said...

I have a couple awards for you.

Rassles said...

We used to do stuff like this for our family cards. Just the kids, though. Until I was 25.

My favorite was Men In Black. Or presidential elections. Or the one where we all wore our serving gear under our graduation gowns with tuition prices at our respective colleges at the bottom, and on the back it said, "Three waitressing daughters with advanced degrees? Priceless."