Friday, October 16, 2009

Annually...

It happens every year.

You'd think I would learn. That, at the very least, I would brace myself for the pain. Yet, year after year, I am blindsided by it.

I posted this last year. Almost exactly a year ago, in fact.

I don't think I can express myself any differently. Or better.

So, I'll just repeat it...

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It's funny how just the change in weather can make you miss someone so terribly.

Joey was born in December, was transplanted in late August and died in November. This time of year always stirs up so many emotions for me.

It's been 10 11 years since his death. Every year I expect it to get easier and easier. I wouldn't call it easier. Just different.

Time heals all wounds? I don't think so.

Time stops the bleeding and forms a scab. But, something as simple as a cool breeze marking the change of a season, can reopen that wound. Bringing pain, heartache, and the realization that I am not healed and may never be.

10 comments:

Kameron said...

I can't believe I've "known" you for a year. I remember this post from the last time and it made me tear up then and now. I can only imagine the loss of a child. Be strong girlie.

Alicia W. said...

I remember this post. So glad I found your amazing, open and honest blog that actually makes me feel normal. Your strength amazes me and I am so happy to know you.

Hurricane Rojo said...

You are loved and prayed for, my friend. No other words make sense, so I'll leave it at that.

Tessa said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how the seasons can rip me open for various reasons, but I cannot imagine what it's like for your family, and especially you as the mama. Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience.

jess said...

There really are no words...so very sorry you lost your beautiful little man.

Shelly said...

I have given you a Gorgeous Blogger Award!
Head on over to my blog http://lifeandtimesofshelly.blogspot.com/
to check it out!

Sneaky Momma said...

I, too, remember this post. It touches my heart now as much as it did then. Thinking of you, friend, and hoping that this season contains many things to bring a smile to your face.

Shelly said...

No Problem!
I love your humor and Blog, I lurk a lot, comment a little!

:O) You also have a nice weekend!

Kimmy said...

Wow, it's already been another year. I rememebr this last year. This is such a touching post too. I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain. Like Alicia says, your strength is amazing! I can only imagine the heartache you go through. Stay strong! *hugs*

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry. Praying for you.