Monday, October 5, 2009

Queer eye beats the straight guys...


The concert was sold out.

We needed four tickets.

There were many of us lingering outside the doors, hoping to happen upon an extra ticket, so that we might get in to see Ghostland one more time before the weekend ended.

Scalpers were lurking as well, hustling to beat us to the tickets, so they could hike the price, and make a killing.

It was a dirty, competitive little game...but, we were willing to play.

We decided to split up. The boys took one corner, as the girls took another. A little battle of the sexes, if you will.

Jake and Tucker had been working their corner for about 30 minutes, when a couple of guys, also looking for tickets, joined them, and struck up a conversation.

The four of them shot the shit. They talked about football, beer, bands, adjusted their junk, and probably spit...and shit.

A couple of girls approached, and said, "Hey, we have two extra tickets. Do y'all need tickets?"

All four men responded in unison, "How much?"

The girl, just wanting to break even, said, "Oh...I'll take face. I just don't want to eat them."

Before the words had finished leaving her lips, one of the other guys whips out a wad of cash, shoves it into her hand and says, "HERE! Forty bucks each. SOLD," and he snatched the tickets out of her other hand.

Jake and Tucker looked at each other in disbelief, wondering where the honor was among men.

Jake said, "Dude...we've been here a lot longer than you. That's not cool."

A grin stretched across the face of one of the men...and with a flick of his wrist, and a twist of his hips, a curtsy, and a snap, he said..."And we're queer!"

And with that, he grabbed his boyfriend's hand, turned, and they giggled their way to the entrance of the club...with gaiety*!

*Pun so carefully planned and definitely intended!!

Having had their masculinity mocked, the boys tucked their tails and headed our way.

Lucky for us...and them...we have boobs!

We scored one free ticket from a dude who was stood up on a date...two tickets from a mud covered man, whose girlfriend had not faired so well at the day's music festival and was passed out in the car...and one cheap ticket from a young kid whose buddy was a no-show.

We proudly waved the tickets in their faces, and had we known, then, the defeat they'd already suffered...we would've flicked our wrists, twisted our hips, curtsied, snapped, and said..."And we're bitches!"


Melissa said...

O that's awesome Nikki! You always make me laugh!

Kimmy said...

AHHH HAAAA!! Too hilarious! I wish I could be there to see your stories take place in action!

Kameron said...

Boobs win out every time. I always wished I had more of, not like 3 or anything, just bigger boobs!

heidi said...

Never underestimate the power of boobs.

heidi said...

Wait, Kam wants three boobs? Like Ross has three nipples? WOudl they all FUNCTION and be all..yk...plump and stuff?