Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tuesdays with Cletus...


You know...kinda like the acclaimed novel, Tuesdays with Morrie. Only it's not about an "old man," it's about a Redneck...and it's not about a "young man," it's about me...and it's not about "life's greatest lesson," it's about the shit that goes down in the classroom of bonafide Redneck!

On today's episode: She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she ain't the dullest either!

I feel sorry for Cletus...I do. Because, the only thing more frustrating than living with the fact that sometimes you don't know the difference between your arse and a hole in the ground...has to be that your profession is trying to teach a class half full of morons the difference between their arses and a hole in the ground!

We had our first exam last night. Even though her test was FIFTY questions, (100% of which were fill-in-the blank and short answer essays...and that is always intimidating) I wasn't too concerned. I don't know if ya'll know this about me, or not...but, I'm a pretty good BS'er. I can BS my way out of a box and I was pretty sure I could BS my way through Cletus' test.

Plus...get this...she reviewed us for a good 30 minutes before the test and gave us time to jot down some more notes. She even asked questions DIRECTLY from the test itself, for us to highlight in our notes. There was a possibility of 116 points on the we had 16 bonus points built in! To top it all off, she said that she would give us 10 minutes at the end of the test to use our notes on any questions that we were unsure of! HOW SWEET IS THAT! I was starting to get a little sweet on ole Cletus!

After the test, she went over the answers aloud while we grade one another's papers. Cletus says it's another opportunity for us to absorb the information...I have to agree. Anyway, the test I graded...the chick made a 60. The chick next to me in class made a 59. The guy in front of me made a 73. After all Cletus had done for us...these yahoos couldn't even swing a "B".

To make matters worse, a few geniuses had the balls to ask if she would be giving us a chance at any extra credit!! One jackass had the audacity to give my dear sweet Cletus a little unsolicited advice on how she could make her tests a little easier to understand. SHE DAMN NEAR GAVE US THE ANSWERS TO THE TEST...she all but hand delivered an easy "A" in a little package with a bright red bow! What more do these people want!!

I was really shocked...I don't know why, but I was. This Tuesday with Cletus...I did learn a little about life. It was further proof that, for the most part, we're a generation of lazy, greedy, self-indulged assholes...who are looking for the good things in life handed to us on a silver platter! I don't ask myself why this country is in the shape that it's in...I ask myself, "Why not?"

That's deep shit from the classroom of a Redneck!! wanna know what I made on the test? Is that what you asked? 110...put that in your pipe and smoke it!!


Jill (Sneaky Momma) said...

Great job on your test! So glad you're beginning to like lil' ol' Cletus. :)
It seems that the younger people are the more they want everything handed to them on a silver platter. I shudder to think of what our country will be like when these selfish people get in office.

Kimmy said...

Great job!!! What a great feeling, huh?! Go ahead, pat yourself on the back :o)
I have to agree with you though. So many kids these days are greedy and think we owe them something in life. They need to learn how to work and earn things like the rest of us....lazy ass fools!

Kameron said...

I've already told you how I feel about this generation of college students. Great show showin all the young'uns up!

Jess said...

Nice work!

I've never been one for multiple choice tests. My brain doesn't care for them.

Mary K Brennan said...

Congrats on your test. Those same kids in your class will be expecting to run a company after graduation. Wait till they find out you're their boss. (Idiots!)

Michele said...

Why not indeed! I ask myself the same thing on a daily basis. When I see all the yahoos in Washington that don't know their arse from a hole in the ground I wonder if maybe they weren't just like the idiots in your class. Good job on the test btw!