Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Has anyone seen my compassion???

It's gotta be around here somewhere. I know when I lost it...and where I was when I lost it...but, I still can't seem to find it.

This has been on my mind a lot lately...especially now that I've been poking around the blogosphere. Reading blog after blog about sick kids and dying babies...it seems that around here, compassion is contagious. I, however, seem to be immune.

Don't get me wrong...I don't wish bad things on people. I promise, I don't. I consider myself a good person and wishing ill will on another is just plain mean. But, when I read these stories of pain and loss...I am not consumed by compassion. I am not filled with the desire to take away their pain. I am not compelled to drop to my knees and beg for God's mercy.

I'm afraid that the death of my son left me somewhat hard-hearted. I'm not emotionless, though. I am able to feel empathy for others...but, only in the sense that I acknowledge the pain and/or suffering with a big ole, "Wow, you were dealt a shitty hand...life's a bitch, ain't it!"

I've said it before...that I feel lucky to have had the experience I did with Joey...so, I don't think it's a bitterness or anger that I feel. Just an understanding that prayers aren't always answered...problems can't always be fixed...and whether we like it or not, people get sick and eventually everybody dies.

Kinda...in a round-about sort of way...like this children's book:


Everyone poops...and everyone dies! Two things that we ALL have in common!
I apologize for the fecal analogy and the morbidity of this post!

Wednesday Addams


Jess said...

Harsh. Yet true.

Tim said...

I feel the same way. I mean I feel for people who suffer a loss, but like there is this one person I know that has blogged continuoulsy about how upset she is that someone she didnt even know lost their baby. She blogs about it almost everyday, and has done so for several weeks now. I mean the parents are already moving on. I dont know if its just an attention getter or what.

This of course isnt to say that I dont have compassion for the family that lost the child because i do. i blogged about it.

Anyway, you must get over to the fort if you havent read my last post. It might not be your kinda read, but it would mean allot to me if you did.

Love and Prayers,


Oh and no they werent Flinstone vitamins. They were superman. Im sure you will find something for that to. So theres something for you to think about.

Tatman said...

Even as a Non-Christian, let me say "Amen!". Life is hard, so it becomes what you make of it. If you spend all of your time feeling pity, your life might turn out pretty pitiful. You just have to deal with it, just like you have to deal with the poop in everyday life (literally and figuratively).

BTW, my son loves that book and now he's great at going on the potty.

"Elephants make BIG poop. A mouse makes a tiny poop."

Jill (Sneaky Momma) said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I don't think your reaction to these posts is weird at all. I feel compassionate when I read about these families and I do like to offer my support, as little as it may be. I have never lost a child, though. Our feelings SHOULD be different.
Your little Joey looks adorable in the pic on your sidebar. :)

Nikki B. said...

i'm glad you guys responded...becauuse often times, my opinions tend to not be the most popular ones.