25 Things...

about The One Who Knows Everything!

If the eldest of my brood were to list 25 random things about himself...this is, most likely, what he would say....

1. I know EVERYTHING. Seriously...I do. I know it ALL!
2. I'm a big chicken. My mom was overprotective of me when I was a baby...and now I'm afraid of trying new things, of heights and roller coasters. It's all her fault!
3. But, not scary movies...I dig scary movies!
4. I will rule the world one day.
5. I might be the only kid alive who doesn't drink soda...I hate carbonated beverages...the bubbles freak me out!
6. I'm messy...very messy. I eat messy...my room is messy...I will leave snot and food on my fingers and face until my mom yells at me to wash myself! So what...boys are gross.
7. I'm honest...to a fault. Even when I could lie and get away with it...I can't do it.
8. I know more than my mom and dad...put together...and am compelled to teach them about life.
9. To prove it...when I was 2...I used the word "diabolical" correctly in a sentence and my mom had to ask Dad what it meant. See...I told ya!
10. I try really hard to be funny and get sooooooo mad at my brother and sister because they invoke laughter easily.
11. I lose things CONSTANTLY...especially shoes...Mom hates this about me and yells when it happens.
12. I'm loud...severely, seriously, painfully loud...and have been since the day I was born. Really...that unexplained screech heard 'round the world that woke you at 11:47pm on the night of September 8, 1999...that was me! Sorry about that!
13. I have to be the center of attention.
14. I don't know why Mom had 2 more kids after me...she had already given birth to perfection.
15. I want to be exactly like my Dad when I grow up...only better and smarter...of course!
16. I'm kind when it matters most.
17. I like to fish...but am afraid to hold the fish that I catch.
18. I'm handy around the house...if something isn't working or is broken...I can usually fix it.
19. Sometimes...no wait...most of the time...I feel like I'm the parent, and my parents are the kids.
20. I hate being late...and my Mom ALWAYS makes me late.
21. I'm always talking about driving a car...college...getting a job...and being a grown up. Mom says I'll be sorry for this one day...but, what does she know!
22. I make friends easily and people generally like me.
23. I might be the smartest person to have ever walked the earth! Did I say that already?
24. I do things that I know will make my Dad angry...just to be annoying. On my 8th birthday, my friend gave me a stuffed animal...I hate stuffed animals...so does my dad. When Dad told me to get rid of it...I pretended to love it and slept with it every night and talked to it...just to make him mad. It was cool.
25. Mom says that I'm her favorite kid...but you didn't hear that from me!