Can I call you bitch? I don't know if you'll remember me, or not. You did have your hands full.
I was at the table next to you today, when you and all your uppity, nipped and tucked, bored-housewife friends decided it was a good idea to take your obnoxious offspring to a very grown up restaurant. Honestly...who takes a herd of 5 snot-nosed, little brats to a Japanese hibachi steak house? Unless, of course, you are insane...or, maybe you're a masochist. Maybe you just like the idea of the people around you plotting your torture and murder.
Your children are young and you are likely very new to motherhood. As 2008's Mother-of-the-Year, I feel inclined to share with you a little of the wisdom I have acquired during my
I would advise that you control your children by any means necessary. Sit on them, pin them to the ground...hell, bind and gag them for all I care. But, for the sake of your fellow diners...DO NOT allow them to hang over the back of their chairs chanting, "FIRE...FIRE...FIRE...WE WANT FIRE," as loudly as they can. It's not cute and it makes people want to hurt them.
I would also suggest that when your 2-year-old begins to vomit before you walk into a restaurant...TURN BACK. DO NOT GO IN! This is kind of an important one. It's NEVER a good idea to take a vomiting child...or vomiting anything, for that matter...into an establishment where people are trying to eat and enjoy a meal. Especially when that meal isn't cheap...we weren't in a McPlayPlace, lady!
You wanna know what's almost as un-appetizing as vomit on the ground next to you at a restaurant? The over-powering smell of the bleach and industrial cleaner that was brought out to clean the BIOHAZARD that your little princess had spewed all over the restaurant!
YOU TOOK YOUR PUKING KID INTO A RESTAURANT!!! Serious foul, my friend.
Lastly, I would like to express...how lucky I feel you are. For, had my level-headed husband not been there to restrain me...you would have had a set of chopsticks in your eyeballs. I'm just saying...
The lady who almost killed your sorry-ass
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Posted by Nikki B. at 1:56 PM