Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I rant, on Swear Word Wednesday!

It’s Swear Word Wednesday!!  I should totally start a meme, or something. 

My favorite day of the week!

But,  I’m dieting, so I’m muh-fuckin’ hungry!!

I’ve given up Dr.Pepper.

I’ve given up my happy pills.

I’ve given up the tele.

Now, I’m giving up delicious food???  WTF??!!??

And instead, for breakfast, I had some shitty shake that tasted like snot!!  It was the damn worst thing I’ve ever put in my damn mouth!

Really?  Without all those things…what is there to live for? 

Seriously? 

The joy and happiness that my kids bring into my life? 

They’re damn assholes most of the time, if I’m being honest! 

Jake? 

*this is where I whine.*

He just got the P90X , and he’s gonna make me do it with him!! 

Not IT, it…P90X, it.  Although, at this juncture, I would happily do IT for a Dr. Pepper and a burrito! 

Which makes me, pretty much…a whore.  A burrito-ho!

I can live with that…

Anyway…swear at me!  Even if all you can muster is calling me a “cotton-headed-ninny-muggins.”  I can take it! 

It’s Swear Word Wednesday!

It’s what we do!

18 comments:

Lori said...

LOL - ur funny!! found your via blogfrog ... something about sometone being a blogfrog whore... Super fun blog. Will be joining your community too... into some of the same things. I look forward to seeing you around!
All the Best,
Lori

Nikki B. said...

hola, lori! so...noooooow i'm a BF whore, AND a burrito ho?

makes sense!!

This Daddy said...

Oh Nikki, I cant swear at you, I am too worried that Jake will come find me and un sew my sac with a Texas Hunting knife. Just do it, and by it I mean it. Do the P90X too. I heard that shit kicks your f-ing no good sorry bitch ass. Sorry it slipped

Your friend,

Jack N Mayhoff

Kameron said...

Aaron just did the same damn thing!! Now I have P90X and a fucking pullup bar in my doorway. He's getting the weights today. I tried to do a pullup this morning. Yes, one pullup. I can't do it! We're in for a world of hurt lady.

Stacey said...

Great! I bought some of that breakfast shake stuff, and now I'm going to think of snot when I drink it! I have started dieting also! God help us both!

Tessa said...

dieting is the goddamn story of my life. Fuckin' fat. Why the hell does fat get such a bad rap anyway? It's cute on babies, why can't it be cute on adults? Good luck sista....hope you are more successful in the dieting world than I.

This Daddy said...

The best part about it is that since he really wants to do it, he will push you and not let you give up. You will end up loving it and feeling good later.

Your pal

Amanda Lick

*Jess* said...

girl, don't give up soda. We should all be allowed a vice or two!

Kimmy said...

LOL!! Always too funny, Nikki!

LambAround said...

Oh fuck! Finally, someone who admits their kids are annoying! I love this :)

Lamb’s Most Recent Post: Cruising, HGTV Green Home, CRAZY Sexy Nerd and LAZY Me

Rachel said...

I want to swear now, thanks to you! But I won't swear at you. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks their kid is an asshole sometimes.

Lolidots said...

Oh holy shit, I fuckin' love Swear Word Wednesday! Though, pretty much every day is Swear Word day for us.

Burrito ho...you crack me up!

S.I.F. said...

Stop being such a whiny bitch you fuckin burrito ho!

(that felt kind of weird, but I'm down with it if it's what you needed!)

Seriously - you crack me up! Why on earth are you giving up yummy food too?!? You are seriously clearing out your life right now!

Tre said...

You crack me right the fuck up!

This Daddy said...

Can you please get Jake to write a farking post on your blog? It is not like he has any tv to watch.
I want to hear want the man of the house has to say about all of the shit you are talking

written by a fan

Ivor Hugh Jardon

Arizona Mamma said...

Hmmm. First time over to see this bad boy of a post. Not sure I can muster a good swear in cyberspace for you. I guess I'm wimping out.

But this totally reminds me of the commercial where the two women call each other lint licker and I can't remember what else. But it cracks me up every time.

Kate said...

LOL a meme I would totally join in on!

KS said...

I LOVE IT!!! My hubby taught my kids that swear words were "Mommy Words" He is a Bastard. I can't wait until my kids teach their Mormon friends all "MY" Mommy Words.