Friday, May 15, 2009

We talked about it...

After weighing some of your comments about my earlier post...about my boy and his prayer, I decided to casually bring up the subject at dinner last night. You know, see what kinda thoughts they have.

Me: "So, we got a message that the church called...yada, yada...and that you prayed a prayer of salvation..."

TOWKE: "Yeah..."

Me: "Well, that's cool...what does that mean, to you?"

TOWKE: *shrugs shoulders...chews with mouth open...*

*kids are soooo gross!*

Me: "You have to have some thoughts about it."

TOWKE: "I don't know. Everyone prayed, so I did it to..."

*a-ha! juuuuuuuust as I suspected*

Me: "But, what do you think the prayer means?"

TOWKE: "Well, um...uh...er, I think...uh...hmmmmmm--"

*obviously annoyed by her brother's bumbling...the girl curtly interrupts..*

TOWDSM: "We have NOOO idea!"

*we all laugh. the child doesn't say much...but, what she does say is real, true, and to the point! i don't know where she gets it!*

So, I take the opportunity to talk about how the world is a big place, and that we are all different, and that it's okay to be different. I explain that even their father and I have different beliefs about spirituality, and that that's okay. I explain that we all have to listen to our hearts and our heads, and believe what is right for each of us, and that it takes time to figure that out.

I try to explain that sometimes the world is not only big, but cruel...and that at some point, they may be teased, or threatened, or ridiculed because of what they believe. Or even because of what their parents believe (which happens to be my biggest fear in this whole struggle with religion I got going on).

Me: "I just want you guys to know that it's okay to say what you feel...and believe in whatever you want to believe in...it's okay to pray...it's okay to NOT pray...and, most importantly, you should be proud of yourself and your beliefs no matter what. Even if it's different from someone else...even if--"

*obviously annoyed by my ramblings, the little one interrupts...*

TOWGAWM: "Mom, broccoli makes you fart...can I have some more?"

8 comments:

Sneaky Momma said...

I love how you approached the subject with your kiddos, by seeing what they think and then expanding upon it. I hope we handle important issues in that manner, too. :)

Rassles said...

See? This is what I'm talking about. You are the shit.

Rassles said...

Psssst: I like the look.

Kameron said...

Good job weeding that out. That way you aren't imposing what you think on him. He is obviously too young and a lot of kids feel pressured to do it, even if they don't understand it. Oh and I love your new pick of J in your sidebar! So cute, no wonder he gets away with murder!

heidi said...

Nicely handled. I swear I'll get back to our email one of these days. :-)

Musings of the Mrs. said...

I had missed the beginning of this story so had to go read about it. It kinda pissed me off actually. I do not like pressuring children on these kinds of things. I also do not like pressuring adults. I do not like religious pressure. I'm glad you didn't just go along. That's a good mom moment for your record books!

Tina said...

Nicki:

Great conversation...

I have always tried to teach my children that they NEVER have to be followers. They have a mind and they can choose...that is what is so great about living in America.

Way to go.....

Alicia W. said...

I'm digging the way you handled this. I was raised up with no church involvement what so ever. I mean my family believes in god and all but never even cracked a bible. Now, that I have kidlets of my own I have no clue how to bring up the subject of prayer or god to them because I haven't the slightest damn clue. I need to do some soul searching and this post helped me out a lot. Thanks girl!