Me: "Um, Cletus...I've averaged my grade several ways, several times...and every time, I get an A. Yet, there is a B for the class on my transcript."
Cletus: "Well, I didn't give out any A's. I only gave them to the ones who earned them. If you got an 89.9, that's a B. I worked for hours averaging those grades, and there was lots of adding and multiplying and dividing...I spent a lot of time on it. I'm sure they're right."
Oh dear God, Cletus...you had to divide!!! Well bless your heart...that must've hurt!
Me: "Cletus...I'm not asking you to GIVE me anything except the grade that I EARNED!! Would you mind recalculating my grades and double checking the average?"
Cletus: "Sure, I'll call you back tonight."
Four hours later...All of which, I'm assuming, it took her to average my nine test grades...
Cletus: "Well, I reaveraged your grade...what did you come up with, again?"
Me: "I come up with a 93, but just to be sure that we're on the same page, could you tell me what scores you have for me in the gradebook. Just to make sure we're working with the same set of numbers."
Cletus: "No...I can't. See, I live out in the country and I don't get good cell signal out here. Right now, I'm out in the yard, on toppa the hill, standing on the tool box, in the backa my truck. I don't have your grades out here with me."
Of course...I should've known.
Cletus: "This time, I came up with a 93...the same as you."
*GASP* NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! LOOK AT THE BRAIN ON CLETUS!!!
Me: *biting my tongue to the point of bloodshed* "Thanks Cletus, I appreciate you taking a second look at it."
These events inspired this...
subtitled: Bitch, I will kill you...
There once was professor who was dumb
She had a hard time finding sum.
Averaging was harder, you see,
She wrongly gave me a B.
Give me my A or I'll shove my foot up your bum!