Monday, May 18, 2009

Ode to Cletus, the Second...

Me: "Um, Cletus...I've averaged my grade several ways, several times...and every time, I get an A. Yet, there is a B for the class on my transcript."

Cletus: "Well, I didn't give out any A's. I only gave them to the ones who earned them. If you got an 89.9, that's a B. I worked for hours averaging those grades, and there was lots of adding and multiplying and dividing...I spent a lot of time on it. I'm sure they're right."

Oh dear God, had to divide!!! Well bless your heart...that must've hurt!

Me: "Cletus...I'm not asking you to GIVE me anything except the grade that I EARNED!! Would you mind recalculating my grades and double checking the average?"

Cletus: "Sure, I'll call you back tonight."

Four hours later...All of which, I'm assuming, it took her to average my nine test grades...

Cletus: "Well, I reaveraged your grade...what did you come up with, again?"

Me: "I come up with a 93, but just to be sure that we're on the same page, could you tell me what scores you have for me in the gradebook. Just to make sure we're working with the same set of numbers."

Cletus: "No...I can't. See, I live out in the country and I don't get good cell signal out here. Right now, I'm out in the yard, on toppa the hill, standing on the tool box, in the backa my truck. I don't have your grades out here with me."

Of course...I should've known.

Cletus: "This time, I came up with a 93...the same as you."


Me: *biting my tongue to the point of bloodshed* "Thanks Cletus, I appreciate you taking a second look at it."

These events inspired this...

Ode to Cletus, the Second
subtitled: Bitch, I will kill you...

There once was professor who was dumb
She had a hard time finding sum.
Averaging was harder, you see,
She wrongly gave me a B.
Give me my A or I'll shove my foot up your bum!


Kimmy said...

LOL!! Well put!

Sometimes I wonder how people make it in life. Especially when they're lacking in the brain dept. hee hee

Alicia W. said...

Gah, I have missed your blog!

Catching up today so be prepared. Not stalkerish behavior.. just catching up on my favorite blogs. :o)

Heidi said...

Excellent poem...
I think Cletus gives everyone who is out of work hope that they too could find a job if she can actually keep hers.

kristi said...

Ugh, some of my professors...........I wonder how they got the job they have!

The one I have now for my ethnicity class is such an ass. I have pretty much decided I will not be getting an first B of the school year..ugh!

heidi said...

LOL Oh my.

Tim said...

Nice Cletus nice.

Godd job on your part Nikki getting an A!! Bravo!


Kameron said...

So did she agree to change it?? What a moron! Please, please, please tell me you will report her AFTER she changes your grade????!!!!

Tina said...

So funny....LOL

Melissa said...

Get that Cletus outa there!

Anonymous said...

I don't generally dig poetry.

But that was moving, my friend.