Monday, July 19, 2010

Hooters and the house of God…

The other night, we were hanging with a fried who was recently divorced, and had a bit of a nasty custody battle.  I think it's safe to say that most custody battles are pretty nasty...just a guess.

We were chatting, and he was recounting a story when his angry ex-wife called CPS on him, and he had to deal with that shit.

He said that when the worker was questioning him, she asked these two questions, that I find deeply, deeply disturbing...

"Do you take your children to eat at Hooter's, and do you think that's appropriate?"

Which, I find ruh-diculous, but, not near as ruh-diculous as the next question she asked...

"Do you take your children to church on Sundays?"

Really? 

I thought my friend was making this shit up, because I cannot fathom this question really being asked by a social worker, employed by a government agency, in the interest of the protection of children from abuse and neglect.

On the issue of Hooters…can someone please explain to me how taking your child to a restaurant where scantily clad, big breasted women serve you chicken bits...is considered abuse?!?

God made boobs, no?  He placed them right underneath a woman's face, yes?  They were created, to be noticed, am I right?  Well, and they were created to feed babies, but, men diggin’ them the most was a kind of side-effect of that.  Maybe an accidental, or unintentional side effect, but a side effect, nonetheless! 

I digress…

Hooters is simply showcasing God's handiwork, if you ask me.  The place is like an art gallery, for titties.  I bet Jesus himself would eat at Hooters, and before he ate his hot wings, I bet he would pray...

”Dad is great, Dad is good, let us thank him for the boobs...AMEN!”

On the church thing…LAWDY, LAWDY, I don’t know if I even want to get started.  How it is any interest of the city, state, government, or Fire Marshall Bill, hell...GOD HIMSELF, whether mine, or my children’s asses are in a pew come Sunday? 

Alright, I'll give it to you, God may have some interest in that one…but, Child Protective Services?  WTF?!? 

I know that by deciding to not raise our children in church, we are choosing to accept the consequences of that decision.  Like, our children being ridiculed, or teased, or damned to hell on a daily basis.  Those are consequences that I expect, from our decision.  But, something that I am not prepared to face, nor, will I ever be, is arguing with the state on whether or not my decision to sleep in on Sundays, can be considered abuse, and may be used against me in a court of law!!!

I guess it’s not really anything I have to worry with, because I can’t really see Jake, 1) fighting me for custody of our children….or vice versa!!  It’ll be more like, “Nah, you can have ‘em.  Really.  No…you take them.  No fucker, I nursed them round the clock and changed all those diapers…you’re taking them, and THAT’S FINAL!”  And then, I would tell the judge that I’m a prostitute!!  2) using it against me that my kids aren’t in church.  I’m agnostic.  He’s an atheist.  If anyone’s gong to hell, it’s him!!  At least I believe in some kinda God!!

I't’s just another reason that I’m not getting divorced! 

Because if I had to deal with that kind of questioning by the state…me not taking my kids to church would be a non-issue.  The bigger issue in the case against my fitness as a parent would be the fact that I murdered a social worker with her own clipboard!!

11 comments:

Tina said...

Nikki:

I agree with you...crazy thing for CPS to be worried about...

Thank you so much fo rthe offer about the pics....I have already left....THANK YOU anyway. I am coming back in Sept for Maddie and Maycee's birthdays and we are already talking about xmas card pics so I will be getting with you once I know the time and date we will be in. I'm actually coming on the 14thof August also..but that will be a short and busy trip with the move and all...again you are so sweet to think of me and I appreciate it so much....
Hugs

Melinda said...

Hooters? Seriously? I had to laugh at that considering that we took eldest daughter to Hooters before we put her on a plane to Italy. Son is probably having his 13th birthday at Hooters...and I'm not inviting my ex, cuz he's an ass and will no doubt call CPS.

mbloomer said...

This post was amazing!

I completely agree with you and it sucks that a social worker asked him those questions. Completely inappropriate!

Meghan Cooper said...

Holy crap that is INSANE! As if EITHER of those things matter. We don't go to church and what if the man was of a different religion? I would have gone to town on that office! Like press involved and an email to Hooters corporate to let them know it was even brought up. Hooters would be suing asses I bet!

saltysweetspice said...

WOW... I probably would frown on my DH taking my son to Hooters, but that's because I'd be that way while married. I'm conservative that way... :)

That said, I would never use it against my husband during a divorce. But like you, it's another reason to not get divorced... Besides, we still like each other - so that says a lot...

I am amazed that Social Services can ask those questions with the whole seperation thing...

Nikki B. said...

tina - have fun, then, and take care!!

melinda - LOL! is chuck e. cheese really gonna cut it for a 13 year old? no...not a chance...hooters are likely THE thing every 13 year old wants for his birthday!

mbloomer - i seriously had a tough time believing my friend...RIDICULOUS!!

meghan - that's exactly what i said. i would've given that woman the what for, like a mofo!!! crazy thing...my atheistic husband who couldn't care less about what peopel think of the way we raise our kids, said that he would've appeased the woman, and said something to kiss up, like, "yeah, i've taken my kids to church." because he said that he wouldn't want to fuck with those powers that be!!!

i was all, WTF?!? WHO ARE YOU?1 that woman's questions don't mean shit, especially not in a court of law!!! i dare her to try to use that to take my kdis away from me, like you said...i woulda had a hayday with it. calling the media!!

it was weird, to me, that my husband felt that way!!!

salty - yeah...one thing to think it inappropriate, but, to try to get the law involved? crazy train, man...CRAZY!!

S.I.F. said...

Wait... was the ex wife accusing him of taking them to hooters and not taking them to church, or are those just the questions they ask everyone... like doctors always asking if you've had sex with someone who uses needles.

Either way... weird. And you're right; not cool. Especially considering the things parents actually DO do with their kids and their still allowed to keep them....

Kameron said...

It's not like he's taking them to the strip club. They have good wings!! I hate that adults try to torture each other by using their kids as pawns. It's bad enough that the marriage is dissolving and they kids have to go through that. People need to suck it up and try to get along the best they can for the sake of their kids and stop with the juvenile games!

Alicia W. said...

Obviously his wife has itty bitty titties and is insecure. Our whole family LOVES hooters and I'm ususally the first one to suggest we eat there with the kids. Fuck, they have a kids menu so obviously it's a kid friendly resturant.

http://twobsandme.blogspot.com/2010/07/hes-got-style.html

theagnosticswife said...

Wow! I too know myself or my children are going to face ridicule for our lack of beliefs. In America though people seem to think that if your ass is in a pew on sunday or if you at least drop your kids off at the church door, than you are a good parent. I guess they think God will do all the rest.

I guess the social worker would be stumped in our situation. As we are both atheist.

Jayme said...

Hooters has a kids menu. My 8 yr old daughter picked Hooters for her 5th birthday dinner. And when I was pregnant I went there for the grilled cheese- OMG best one ever.