Friday, May 21, 2010

I don’t even want to know…

After hearing that sweet little girl (i keep saying sweet…she may be a royal brat, who knows!) speak about her mother’s frustration, I moved on from the library, and helped Jack’s kindergarten class paint t-shirts. 

I warned  a little boy, “Don’t wipe that paint on your shirt.  I wouldn’t want your mom to be upset at me, for letting you get paint on your shirt.” 

He was five.  He over-shared, “Yeah.  Me either.  My mom’s mean.  She would yell at me, if I got paint on my shirt.  Sometimes she spanks me.”

Here I was again, in that uncomfortable spot, hearing words, that could easily come from my child, from an objective point of view. 

I couldn’t help but wonder…

WHAT IN THE HELL IS MY KID SHARING ABOUT ME?!?  I wonder, though I probably don’t really want to know, what he says about me to his friends, teachers, and other moms. 

Does he share about my irrational rants and raves? 

Does he tell his teacher that he makes his own breakfast on the weekends, while his dad and I sleep?

Does he tell people that when he wakes up on some Saturday mornings there are empty beer bottles and wine glasses on the counter, the Yahtzee game left on the table, and a pile of his parents clothes next to the dining room table?  Surely the kids are too young to connect any dots, but, his teachers might be able to.  I’m sure they’ve played strip-Yahtzee in their day…

Soon, it was Jack’s turn, and I helped my boy paint his shirt.  A few other kids were painting, too, with some other volunteers.  The kids are so cute, and one of them asked me, with a slight lisp, as the air passed through the place where his front two teeth used to be, “Are you Jack’s mom?” 

“I sure am.  What’s your name?”

Before Travis could tell me that was his name, in front of two teachers, five kindergarteners, and another mother, Jack said, “Yeah, that’s my mom.  She just got a tattoo on her finger.  And she has another one on her butt.”

Bright side?  At least my future fuck-sayer didn’t say “she has another one on her ass!”

I think the obvious answer to my questions, is a resounding…YES!  Yes, my kids probably over share about me, at school.  But, so do yours…

What’s the saying?

I won’t believe what your kid tells me about you, if you don’t believe what my kid tells you about me!



Jes said...


LOL Hilarious!!!! A tattoo on your butt!! Greatness!

I am always scared about what my kids share about me... but if my kids share anything to you, you gotta tell me :)

~~Mel~~ said...

OMG so true!!! I often wonder just how much of our lives the boy shares with the outside world (daycare, school, etc.)...and no worries we have plenty of beer bottles and wine glasses on our counter on Saturday morning too ;)

Scott S. said...

That is some funny shit right there.

You know the boys used to say, that "Daddy has a big wee wee"

Or "Mommy's butt got out"

I dont know but thank god they are still younger than 6 and we can control it for a little while longer

Tracy said...

Oh I can hear it now. "We have to go to bed early because Mommy & Daddy watch naughty movies"

OMG I can remember when one of the kids found the vibrator, and asked "whats this?" "Oh, that is uh uh,a flashlight, let Mommy have it so I can put it up in case the power goes out" LMAO!

Nikki B. said...

jes - deal...but, really. i don't know if i want to know what my kids say!!!

mel - scary, right? glad i'm not the only one!!

scott - don't let that go to your head, scott...they're used to seeing their pint-sized peckers. it's only big, in comparison, to theirs!!!!

tracy - note to self: find a better hiding place for the the old B.O.B. (although, mine is actually powered by the outlet, now!! ;) i had a good mother's day!)

kristi said...

These comments had me cracking up!

Bridget said...

No telling what mine says...ugh!

Anonymous said...


I'm gonna have to straighten up before my kid starts school!

Kameron said...

I am going to have to think about these things while the kids are small. That is a dose of reality I don't want!

Anonymous said...

The teacher asked my son "Would your mother like it if you acted that way??" my son told her "No she told me she would kick my ass!"