Well, the gift my leathered friend sent yesterday did lift my mood some...but, my high from the zippo didn't last too long. The thrill soon gave way to rabid frustration when I never could figure out how to light the damned thing! Stupid, Stetson wearing, malignant, Marlboro man!
I feel this way a couple of times a year...you know, just really pissed off. I had a hysterectomy and my husband translated it to a PMS-ectomy, he was ecstatic...but, oh what he didn't know then. Sure, I don't get all PMSy every 28 days, no, now I get a psychosis that sets in for 30 days about every 6 months. Doesn't that sound fun? I mean, to me, it's TOTALLY worth it...no pads, tampons, cramps...all that shit. My husband, on the other hand...well I checked the history on the computer and he's been researching uterus transplants. He can have the damned thing trasnplanted into his abdominal cavity.
Just a mildly severe (is that an oxymoron?) case of temporary psychosis. The typical mom shit that no one but other put upon mom's understand, like:
- my kids don't listen to a word I say...in fact, they only acknowledge my existence if they need money, food, permission for something, their asses wiped, or are just bored out of their wits and feel like annoying the hell out of me.
- my husband...he runs his own agenda and well...he only acknowledges my existence when he's randy...which, thank goodness, the psychosis has thwarted. so, lately, it's never!
- the dog, who is supposed to be MY dog...he only acknowledges me between the hours of 8-11am M-F when he and I are the only ones in the house...if anyone else is here...I'm chopped liver...well, no, a dog would probably LOVE chopped liver...I'm kitty litter...no, the sick little bastard would probably like that, too...the vacuum...he HATES the vacuum, that's it...I'm as useless to him as the vacuum.
So...I'm really feeling sorry for myself and feeling TOTALLY put upon and taken for granted. Who am I kidding...I feel this way pretty much 365 days a year..that's the bad news...the good news for my family is that I'm only pissed off about it for 30 days every six months.