An intimate moment...

With so many figurative balls in the air right now, I was bound to have to prioritize them, and let a few drop, for the greater good.  Unfortunately for Jake, the ball representing our "relations" was the first one to hit the ground upon my re-entry to the college scene.

The other night, Jake broached the subject, "I thought college girls were supposed to be easy."

Whining a bit, I said, "Baaaa-abe, I'm tired. Really, really tired. Being back in class wears me out, and if you ever plan on getting laid again...I'm just telling you now, you're gonna have to get creative."

There was a moment of silence. I tried to hurry off to sleep before he devised a plan.

I wasn't fast enough...

"Wanna play beer pong?"

Well played, sir...well played!

We call her Charlotte…

The kids have had so much fun with this spider.  She’s right by our front door, and she’s helping us to keep the grasshoppers off of our bushes. 

The boys want to make her our pet, and they try to feed her by catching grasshoppers and throwing them into her web.  They like to watch her do her spindly thing with them, in spite of my warnings that Charlotte is doing just fine without their help, and that they are actually risking destroying her web, in their attempts to help a spider out.

 
The kids love her so much, I’ve thought about putting her picture up in place of The One Who Ran Away’s!

Reunited…

A man…

and his remote…

 
It’s a beautiful thing!!

Football season is starting up, and I would never expect my husband to go without television during the Cowboy’s season.

Never.

Ever.

As of today, we’re plugged back in. 

The kids were thrilled.  I know they were thrilled, because they house was silent when they got home from school.  I mean, silent.  We told them that we would keep the cable until the Cowboys’ season is over, then, the plug will be pulled again…and we’ll be part-time cable viewers.

And with that, “America’s team” has three brand new fans this year!

Go Cowboys…our television viewing pleasure depends on it!

When I grow up...

When I grow up, I wanna be a Nurse Practitioner.

Since my kids older, I thought it would be cool that they get to witness me working hard in school pursuing degrees, a career, and my dreams.

I thought I was modeling for my children, to set goals. To achieve them. And when you do, aim higher, and set new goals.

The sky's the limit.

So, tonight, while hiding in my room, rocking back and forth in a corner, and drooling, after a NINE HOUR LECTURE, today!! while freshening up for dinner, I was a little disappointed to hear this conversation...

Avery said, "Hey, Dad. When I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer...and then, after that...I wanna be the mayor! How cool would that be?"

I heard Lily gasp, and say, "WHAT?!? Why would you want to do all that?? When I grow up, all I wanna do is work at PetSmart!"

Not become a veterinarian. Not become an animal trainer. Not even OWN a fucking PetSmart. She just wants to work at one?!?

**Note to self: When Lily's an adult, and working at PetSmart to help support her family...remember to praise her for following her dreams!!**

Today, it hit me...

On my first day of nursing school, I listened for hours on the legalities, regulations, and expectations that will be placed on me as a nurse. I learned that this new career path I've chose, I will spend a lot of time, covering my ass. Making sure that my patients are happy. My coworkers are happy. My bosses are happy. And that the Board is happy. It kinda freaked me out.

As I sat and listened, I realized how much I enjoyed the job I've had for the past twelve years, and the people I've worked with.

My boss is lovely. I mean, a dream. I'd totally hit it. In fact, I have. And do, regularly.

I worked as the lone supervisor, while the boss was away, so I never had to deal with pissy coworkers and their drama. I liked being in charge, with no one around to sue me, if I fucked up. In fact, the only people around to notice if I fucked up, were too young to even vote, so they couldn't if they wanted to!

Speaking of those people. The people who I was supervising while the boss was out. They are great. I mean, the first few years that I worked with them was tough. They were demanding, and kind of annoying really, and they cried a lot. And they soiled themselves, and I'd have to clean it. They were pretty immature. But, they've done some growing up, and lately they have been just a pleasure to work with. They didn't care if I was in my pajamas all day, or if I didn't do the laundry correctly, or regularly, or EVER. They never ratted me out to my boss, if I sat around all day doing nothing, but, jumped up five minutes before the Big Dog arrived home, to keep up the appearance that I'd actually done something. They didn't watch my every move, waiting for a misstep. They never complained to any Board. Or, tried to have my license revoked. They were just a real pleasure.

That's all about to change...and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified!!

Are you ready for some football?

Hell yeah!!

I had a photoshoot, and missed Jack’s first preseason game, but, since he’s been so sick, he wasn’t playing much anyway. 

But, I made it in time for Ave’s game, and it was good to be watching some football again!

Ave started at Defensive End, and it turns out the hour of being grilled by the coach at Friday’s practice for not exploding off the line fast enough, paid off!

It all came back to my boy when he was on that football field, and he did great! 

He had a sack, or two, and several tackles.

This one…was caught on camera.  He’s number 12, in the black helmet.

 He sees the handoff for the reverse…

He does not see the block coming and is blindsided by what looks to be a little illegal, helmet to helmet contact…

Avery reported that his lights flickered for a second with this hit, and he had to shake himself out of it, because he knew the play was still going on…
 

On his way to the ground, he lunges…

 
He wraps up, all he can reach…

The running back is in trouble…

Avery takes him down, for a huge loss on the play…

Get some, bitch…

 
Alright…Avery didn’t say that, I did, but, whatever!!

Not what I had in mind...

So, when I pictured myself in scrubs, this is what I pictured...

This is not what I pictured...




What in the hell???

I'm a nurse in the 1980's!!!

It’s been a while…

Since my kiddos were sick. 

The past year…we haven’t been sick very much at all.  I mean nothing.  Not even so much as a runny nose. 

It’s wonderful when your kids get a little older, their immune systems mature, and they are able to fight off the typical sneezes and sniffles and the occasional doozy of an infection, on their own!

Yesterday, just five short days before the first day of 1st grade, 3rd grade, 5th grade, and the Nursing Program…Jack decided to succumb to the germs, and he’s sick!

Strep throat.  An ear infection.  Upper respiratory infection.  And croup!!!

All at once. 

He’s on a double dose of antibiotics, breathing treatments, and steroids, and Tylenol and Ibuprofen round the clock to attempt to keep his fever in check.  He should be right as rain, and no longer contagious by the first day of school, though.

But, what about the rest of us?

My head feels funny and my throat is scratchy…and I’m convinced that Lily and I will come down with this crap, come Sunday!!  We’re the only ones excited about starting school, and it seems like it would fit that we’d be the ones to be stricken with the crud, forcing us to stay home!! 

I know, I know…I shouldn’t be so negative, and I shouldn’t send shit like that into the universe.  Hopefully, it’s just psychosomatic, and it’s nothing.

Hopefully, come Monday…I don’t look anything like this…

Some things money can’t buy…

Designer scrubs…$60

Stethoscope…$80

Textbooks…$350

  

Realizing a dream…PRICELESS!

My T’s are crossed and my I’s are dotted.  I’ve been oriented.  I’ve been tested.  I’ve served my time, waited my turn, and on Monday…a dream of mine comes true! 

I start nursing school. 

Until this point, it has just felt like something I’ve been talking about.  Something I’ve been planning.  Now that I have my equipment, have my seat in the classroom, and have my clinical assignment…it’s feeling pretty real.

I’m really gonna do this thing!!

Metal mouth…

The girl had her braces put on the day before we left for vacation, and she was thrilled.  She even requested that I take pictures at the dentist office!!!

Before…

 
During (per her request)…

 
And after…Just look at how fast that gap closed up!!

 
And…just look at how beautiful my girl is, even with all that metal in her mouth (if I do say so myself)!!

Toes in the sand...

A toss up...

It's a toss up as to whether these guys are having more fun hitting the beaches of Destin, FL...

Or, watching cable for the first time in seven months!!!



We've been soaking up rays by day...


and soaking up the boob-tube by night! It really is paradise, just look how happy Jake is to be watching a live Ranger game!!!

The wall…

I’ve hit the metaphorical wall. 

That glorious point in the kid’s summer vacation where they are at each other’s throats, trying to kill one another, and I am at theirs, trying to kill them. 

It’s bad.  Last summer I was locked in my bedroom with a stack of notecards and a textbook to read, and Jake was running the show.  I liked last summer better. 

Lily was gone for two weeks at the beach with some of my family…but, she’s the easy kid, so the screaming, fighting, and wrestling to the death didn’t let up at all with only 2/3 of my children at home. 

It’s just these boys.

I swear that they are literally trying to kill each other. 

Last night, I broke up a brawl.  Avery slammed the door in Jack’s face, knocking his tooth loose, and Jack went postal on him, and punched him square in the face.  Ave didn’t like that, and went all Ralphie on him.  Sitting atop him, swinging wildly, muttering under his breath, while Jack pleaded with him to stop. 

We’re going stir crazy, I think. 

They’re a motley crew, my three…

  
And in the best interest of  my children’s mental health and physical well being…THEY NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!

Pink-eyed...

Ave has pink eye...

He's sporting the 'stache, for two reasons, 1) like his father, he thinks 'staches are cool, and 2) it takes the focus off of his eye of pink!

When we got back home from the doctor, for fun, and to appeal to the "little boy" in my little boys, I said, "Do you know how you get pink eye, Ave?"

"No," said The One Who Knows Everything, much to my surprise!! He will usually just make something up, to give the illusion that he does indeed know everything!

Channelling this hilarious scene...


I said, "You get it when someone farts on your pillow." To my youngest, I said, "Jack, did you fart on Bubba's pillow, and give him the pink eye?"

Immediately, Jack said, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO...I didn't!!!"

Avery didn't believe him, and yelled, "YOU FARTED ON MY PILLOW?!? You little..."

"HEY! Watch it!!" I interrupted.

Avery, obviously mad, yelled some more, "I'm gonna...I'm gonna...I'm gonna fart right in your eye!!"

With that disgusting threat, Jack leapt at his brother, and a playful riot began.

Arms were swinging, legs were flailing, the two boys were a tangled mess, and over it all were their mutterings...

"I didn't fart on your pillow!"

"Yes you did! I know you did...I have pink eye!!"

"Oh yeah? I'm gonna fart in your mouth!"

"Oh yeah? I'm gonna fart in YOUR mouth!"

Lily and I watched for a few minutes (they are entertaining), but, eventually I had to separate them, and explain that I was just kidding, and that farting on someone's pillow will not give you pink eye.

I don't think they believed me, though, and I think I may have planted a seed, and possibly started a war!!

Note to self: Flip your pillowcase over before you lay down, and/or change pillowcases often, on the off chance that the farts of little boys can, indeed, cause pink eye!!