Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Again...

I climbed back up on top of an old soap box of mine again...I couldn't help it.

I bought myself an early Christmas present the other day. I bought the New Super Mario Brothers for Wii. It's like the OLD SCHOOL Super Mario Brothers that we grew up on. I guess I should only speak for my own age...It's the OLD SCHOOL Super Mario Brothers that I grew up on!

I've been eyeballing the game since it's release.

The other night, Jack started puking, and ruined our plans for hanging out with friends. Desperate for entertainment, I broke down and bought the game and a box of wine, for a fun filled night with two of the coolest plumbers I know.

I love the game.

It contains the same old busting of bricks, collecting of coins, shooting of fireballs, jumping of the flag pole, and slaying of the dragon, that I remember fondly from the original.

However, it also showcases the endless lives, countless continues, and superfluous save flags found throughout the levels, TO WHICH, this coddled generation of prepubescent pantywaists, have grown so accustomed!!

Avery watched me struggle with a particularly hard world, then asked for a turn to conquer it.

I begrudgingly happily shared my new toy.

Within minutes of the controller entering his hands, the kid found some "Luigi guide" option that I didn't know existed. He was able to watch a computerized Luigi reveal the secrets of the level, and effortlessly make it to the end. Once the "guide" completed the level, it gave Avery the option of trying it himself...or, or...OR...you guessed it...MOVING ON TO THE NEXT LEVEL!!!

Avery looked up at me, and said, "OH SA-WEET! LOOK, MOM! I just beat the level!"

I flipped my shit.

Part of me was still frustrated from my struggle with the level, and having the computerized Luigi throw it all up in my face how simple it acutally was...but, mostly, I was pissed at this lazy, sorry excuse for a generation of kids we're raising!!

I snatched the controller out of his hand, and started the ranting and raving...

"NO WAY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO DO, WHEN I WAS A KID, AND A LEVEL WAS HARD? I HAD TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MYSELF. NO "GUIDE" TO SHOW ME THE WAY. NO INTERNET FOR CHEAT CODES. UH-UH. JUST BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS. AND ONLY THREE LIVES!! DID YA HEAR THAT? THREE. NOT FIVE. NO ENDLESS CONTINUES. NO SAVES. UH-UH. THREE LIVES. ANY LIVES OVER THAT, HAD TO BE EARNED!! IF YOU WERE ON LEVEL 8-4, AND ABOUT TO BEAT THE DRAGON, AND BEAT THE GAME...AND YOU DIED...YOU WENT ALL.THE.WAY.BACK.TO.THE.BEGINNING!! AND YOU STARTED THE FRICK OVER!! WHY EVEN PLAY THE GAME? WHY NOT JUST LET LUIGI PLAY IT FOR YOU, HUH? WHEN I WAS A KID..."

Jake interrupted me. Mocking, "Easy, Grandma, you're scaring the kids."

All the kids laughed and taunted me, with their father.

So, now...NOW? None of them are allowed to play my video game!

12 comments:

Melissa said...

You tell him! I'd hide it!

Bridget said...

I totally agree! Kyle always asks to get on my computer to get cheat codes and it drives me crazy! I tell him he needs to figure it out on his own...yeah right...I LOVED.playing that game in college :D

Jes said...

Ha!! You stand your ground! I wouldn't let anyone play it either! I loved that game too!! So cool! I just might be looking for that game for myself!

Shelly said...

I can't wait to get that game.. Yes games are entirely too east now to cheat at! Damn it do you know how long it took me to get through Super Mario 3!

~~Mel~~ said...

Oh how true it is!

I'm glad you like the game...I think we'll have to get it too.

Cass said...

Thanks for stopping by Nikki! I used to love to play Mario Brothers, and Duck Hunt. We dusted off our nintendo a few years ago and I spent way too many hours shooting birds and yelling at that stupid laughing dog, and not enough working on my homework for college. It was totally worth it!

Kameron said...

Seriously, this generation has it way too freakin easy!! Learn some patience and how to earn something the hard way!! The only game we had that even gave you a chance at 25 lives was Contra, but you still had to do the whole, up, up, down, down , left, right, left, right B A B A Start...and that shit was hard! ;o)

Heidi said...

is there room on that box for me????

Ginny said...

Damn wiener kids.

(I like it when you're on your high horse.)

heidi said...

Aren't we raising a bunch of pansies?! Your soap box is just a jumping off point! There's cheat codes for EVERYTHING anymore. Too hard? Well let's work around it instead of through it. Can't quite get there? That's ok - pat ya on your po po and let someone else fix it for ya.

Up hill. Both ways. In the SNOW.

theagnosticswife said...

The hubs and I bought this game for ourselves too. The game is harder in some aspect and I IGNORE Lugi and his stupid bell ringing help. Ugg my poor Nintendo back in the day too some abuse. Thankfully I have not thrown the wii mote once. Yet.

Candi said...

OMG that is so freaking hilarious & soo true. I kicked that game's ASS when I was in college and now I play the X-box & instead of my character walking forward it keeps looking up!!! Talk about frustrating!