Thursday, January 27, 2011

Princess Consuela…

A couple of days ago, I was meeting up with the ladies in my car pool.  We were heading to the state psychiatric hospital for our clinical orientation.  That part of the story is neither here nor there, really, except that's it is here (I'm going on Tuesday of next week)...and I'm fucking scared a bit apprehensive about the whole thing!

Anyway, it was a chilly morning, I had my big pea coat on, and as I was getting into my friend, E's car, I noticed a tag hanging out of my pea coat pocket.  I reached into my pocket that was quite full of something that was attached to the tag, and this is what I pulled out...

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That’s a thong.  A dude thong. A Christmassy, elfy, (complete with jingle bells) banana hammock, if you will!!

Actually, my compadres hadn’t seen me pull it out of my pocket…but, my hysterical laughter caught their attention.  Then, the red velour and jingly bells on the banana hammock caught their eye. 

When I could catch my breath, I had some ‘splainin’ to do…

“You see…what had happened was….we do this Chinese gift exchange during Christmas, and sometimes there are gag gifts.  And this particular gag gift was attached to a GINORMOUS bottle of vodka…”

See…

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BIGGEST. BOTTLE. EVA!!!

“…and I wanted the vodka to put into my Red Bull, so I got the vodka, and by default, Jake inherited a banana-hammock.  And I was planning on ditching the thong, but, then, had a thought, that it might make a really great Christmas card, if I could talk Jake into putting it on.  So, I thought I should keep it.  So, I stuck it in my pocket.  In my pea coat pocket.  And there it stayed.  ” 

I should really be more careful about where I keep Jake’s banana hammocks!! 

Where do you keep YOUR banana hammocks?

5 comments:

Deeds said...

as soon as I saw Princess Consuela... I immediately went to Banana Hammock!
"IF" the the hubs had some B.H.'s i would keep them in the glove compartment. That way when I ask my friends to grab something out of it, they would be faced with awesome cheetah b.h.'s

Nikki B. said...

deeds - LOVE the 'friends' references! they will never get old. not to me, anyway! the glove compartment would be a great conversation starter! when i pulled these out of my pocket, i didn't know where to put them. not in my backpack...so i was going to throw them in my friends car. she was like, "no way! if my husband finds them, he's likely to divorce me!" which...was a really good point. LOL!

Kimmy said...

LMAO! Ummmm, yeah, no banana hammocks here. It's commando choice for him. If he did have some, they would be in our "special chest" where all our naughty stuff goes. Ya know, can't have "S" accidently stumbling upon such novelties! lol

This Daddy said...

That is awesome and if he wont wear it, I will and then Tracy can take a pic of me in it and you can still use it for your xmas card.

Melissa said...

You make me laugh girl!