Mawage is wut bwings us togedder toooday...
|Photo from here.|
I was talking to the fiance of a good friend last night on the subject of marriage.
My marriage happens to be the thing I'm most proud of in my life, so I'm always happy to discuss the subject.
Jake and I have a great marriage. We just do. We set it up that way, and neither he, nor I would have it any other way. We have an amazing understanding of one another. I have patience for him, where I don't have it for other people in my life. Respect and communication are paramount in our interactions and the basis of our relationship.
The bottom line of our marriage...we'd just rather be happy. We'd rather laugh than fight. We'd rather snuggle than give each other the cold shoulder. And we'd rather use our tongues for kissing, rather than lashing each other with them.
And truthfully, neither one of us considers it work...and wouldn't dream of considering it "hard work," to make these choices.
Last week, I was involved in a discussion on another blog about whether or not, marriage is "hard work." I tried to explain to the droves of women claiming that marriage was "really, really hard work," that it didn't always have to be. I just wanted people to know that a person's marriage doesn't have to become the overused cliche, "the old ball and chain." It doesn't have to be a battleground. It shouldn't be a battleground, it should be a refuge.
I explained that I love and respect my husband more than any person in the entire world, and that I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. That he is the most amazing man I know...and he deserves all the happiness in the world. Not only that, but, it's my privilege to be able to contribute to his happiness on a daily basis.
And I know for a fact, that Jake feels the same way.
Are you nauseous?
Do you believe me?
But, the people I was discussing the subject on this popular blog and forum didn't believe me. They called me a liar. They called me delusional. They said I was too blind to see that my marriage wasn't really all that I thought it was. They said if my marriage was all that I said it was...then, it must be so boring to be me. And my personal favorite...one person said that I must not have had tough life experiences that have challenged my marriage. That marriages are easy when life is easy...that I should just wait. That one day my life would get tough and my marriage would get miserable.
That one was a good one.
At first these comments really bugged me. I let them under my skin. But, then, I realized these comments had nothing to do with their opinion of me...just what they were frustrated with in their own marriages.
I'm okay with that.
Because last night, the fiance of a good friend of mine, asked my advice, and sought out my insight on marriage. She said she can see what a beautiful marriage that Jake and I have, and she wanted my opinions on some things.
It was seriously the highest compliment I have ever been paid. It felt wonderful, and it made it totally worth putting up with the harsh words I received last week, online.
And really, I don't say these things about my marriage to toot my own horn, to brag, or to boast...I just know how safe and wonderful, and peaceful I feel in my marriage. With my husband. And everyone deserves the same.
And I'm really glad that my good friend and his fiance seem to have found it for themselves, too.