See that vest up there in the photo?
I was wearing it one night, when we were hanging out at a friends' house. After a couple of beers, the boys thought it would be so funny to try it on. S tried it on, and I snapped this pic.
*Huh...he was right! It is hilarious now that I see it plastered on the web!!*
*Speaking of...Crystal Balls, Victor...please don't tell on me!*
Jake tried it on, and we laughed a little bit more. We eventually ran out of jokes about the vest, changed the subject and we hurried out the door to fetch a lime before the imbibing got out of hand, and we were stranded.
Jake ran into the convenient store, leaving S and I chit-chatting in the car. We were watching through the windows of the 7-11, as Jake strolled the aisles, with his manly strut...IN A TIGHT ASS, PINK, CHICK VEST!
My first thought was, Huh...my husband is so cool. He can just walk right in there with that TIGHT ASS, PINK, CHICK VEST on...and not think a thing of it. Look how he is sportin' that vest without a care in the world about what other people think of him. He even looks cute in that little bitty vest. Damn, I love that man.
S was laughing and said, "Does he know he's wearing the vest?"
I said, "Holy shit! He's forgotten that he's wearing that fucking vest!"
At this point in the story, I wish I could say, that I felt sorry for the man, and waited until he was back in the car to tell him that he'd just worn the TIGHT ASS, PINK, CHICK VEST...IN PUBLIC!!
But that would be no fun...at all!
S and I were HYSTERICAL, and decided it was best for all parties involved, if we fucked with him a little bit.
When I could gather enough air to form actual words...I called Jake on his cell.
S and I watched through the windows, as Jake reached for his phone.
He answered, and I covered my mouth a bit with my hand, and loudly whispered, "Dude...don't look now..."
Jake says, "WHAT? Why what's up," and he nervously looked around.
Seeing his confusion, and muffling laughter, I said, "I SAID DON'T LOOK! Dude, I don't know if you're aware, or not...but...you're still wearing the TIGHT ASS, PINK, CHICK VEST!"
We watched as Jake looked down and saw the vest.
We could actually see the testosterone drain out of his body. His shoulders slumped, he hung his head, and like a bitch who'd just lost her bra in a game of strip poker, Jake furiously tried to cover the TIGHT ASS, PINK, CHICK VEST, with his arms.
As I watched my beloved, giggle, nervously shift his weight from one foot to the other...still desperately trying to hide the vest, I thought, Huh...look how gay my husband looks right now!