Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A conversation in the car...

While I'm not spending enough time with my children these days to have entertaining conversations with them, I am spending enough time with my friend, E-Money, on our way to and from school.  We have an hour commute.  Each way.

Yeah...ya heard!  And the only thing that makes sitting through six hours of lecture more enjoyable...is driving for a full hour to get to that lecture, and another full hour between that lecture and the comforts of home.

Luckily, E-Money and I live close to one another, so we're able to car pool some of the time.  Even luckier for me...E-Money happens to be my kinda chick.

Today, we had one of those conversations, that, when we played it back in our heads and aloud, I was like, WTF?!?  It went a little something like this:

Me:  I'm ashamed of that work I turned in last week.  My last paperwork for the semester, and it was illegible.  Is that a word?

E-Money, in her infinite wisdom:  Yes, it is.  Like dirigible.

Me, in my very finite wisdom:  What the fuck is dirigible?

E-Money:  A Zepellin.  The Hindenburg.

We were at a stop light, and I was able to look at her in the face to see that she was not fucking with me, and I said...

Me:  I don't know these words.  Could you please define dirigible with a word that I may know the definition to?

Ya see...right now, this pea-sized brain of mine is chock full of crazy nursing knowledge, and it seems, as evidenced by this very conversation, that some of the more common knowledge things that I used to know, have started to spill out.  You know...to make room for my mad nursing skills.

Because, what I was thinking, was...

Me:  Hindenburg...what does the Charles Hindenburg case have to do with dirigible?  Oh yeah...that Hindenburg baby died.  Didn't a dingo eat the baby?

At this point, I mistakingly let this dipshit thought slip out...

Me, aloud:  Didn't the dingo eat the baby?

E-Money, as sweet as she is, humored me, or pitied me, as it turned out, and laughed as she said:  WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Me, feeling smart and shit:  You know.  The Hindenburg kidnapping case.  It was the dingo.  The dingo ate the baby.  Don'tcha remember?

And for the record...yes, I was doing the accent, and all...

Me, continuing to display my ignorance:  You remember?  They made a movie about the Hindenburg case, and the dingo ate the baby.  What does the case have to do with a dirigible?

E-Money, trying to keep up with my verbal diarrhea and atrocious accent:  A dirigible is a blimp.  A blimp.  You mean Lindbergh?  The Lindbergh kidnapping case?  A dingo didn't eat the baby.  The body was found close to their house.  Where did you hear about a dingo?

Me, wondering if I should call Fox News with a break in the Lindbergh case, but quickly realizing my error, stupidity, and having confused myself more than ever:  Oooooooooooh....yeah, Lindbergh.  I thought dingos ate his baby.

E-Money, laughing hysterically at this point, no doubt at my ridiculosity:  You mean, dingos?  Like, wild dogs?  No.  There are no dingos in New England.

By this time, we were out of the car, and walking back into our classroom, all the while I was concurrently Googling, "Did dingos eat Charles Lindbergh's baby?"  I said:  But, weren't the Lindberghs camping in Australia when the baby went missing?  And...you know...dingos.  

Yes...I swear to God on high that the Google history on my phone, when you start with, "Did di...," will auto-fill, "Did dingos eat Charles Lindbuegh's baby?"

And as I found out Iwhile finishing my search in the bathroom stall, that I had confused the fictional movie, A Cry in the Dark, with the real life kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby.  Admitting my mistake, I conceded with the following text to E-Money, and perhaps, the oddest text message I have ever sent...

"Nope...dingos didn't eat Lindbergh's baby."   

It's official...I'm losing my ever lovin' mind!!!  Thank God my psych rotation was in the beginning of the semester...they definitely would've committed me if I showed up at the State Hospital, mumbling about dingos, Aborigines, blimps, and Lindbergh's baby!!!!

Fuck me runnin...this semester needs to end...STAT!!!


heidi said...

All I could see was Elaine at that stupid baby shower saying to everyone, "Maybe the dingo ate your bay-beh."


Kameron said...

I've missed you and your ability to make me laugh until my iced coffee threatens to come out of my nose. :o)

Melissa said...

LMAO now this was too funny!! I have tears running down from laughing so hard! I never heard about the dingo thing...haha!

Candi said...

Oh My Lord!!!!! Please don't ever stop blogging!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!