Sunday, March 13, 2011

Two thumbs down...

A movie review.

We went to see Hall Pass today, and even though the trailers alluded to the idea that a week off of marriage for a 30-something suburban dad might not exactly be what he expected...I had no idea this movie was a chick flick.  None.  It had some of the ingredients of a Hangover type flick...raunchy comedy, sexual obsession, T&A, drugs, boys gone wild, full frontal male nudity of two different peni, varying in shade and size.

Those parts of the movie, I enjoyed.  The crux of it?  Notsomuch.

Totally unrealistic.  Too unrealistic.  The Harry Potter movies were more realistic that this flick.  These dudes got a week off of marriage.  What did they do?  Went to have ribs at Applebees.  Played a round of golf.  Joined a gym.  Talked the talk without walking the walk of all the tail they wanted to pursue over the next seven days.  That's it?

Really?

I just happen to cohabitate with a 30-something suburban dad, and I think I have a pretty good idea of what would really happen if he was given a week off from marriage, with no rules, limits, or consequences.  I can say with 100% certainty, that not once would he go to Applebees.

You know what he absolutely would do?  He would round up a few good men, hop a plane to Vegas, and ride off into the desert in search of "strippers and cocaine."

But, noooooooooo...these douche-nozzles couldn't close the deal.  They decided that their wives were too important to them, even though they had a hall pass.

I'm sorry...I ain't buying it.  I call bullshit.  I will go on the record to say, that if given clearance by the control tower to land their plane in any old runway but mine a strange and exotic runway...a HUGE majority of hot blooded American, 30-something suburban dads are gonna land that plane, take off, and land it again.  And again.  And again.

The rationale behind my assumption?  The wise words of one six year old little boy sum it up quite nicely, I think..."Boys have a penis...and girls have a brain. Right, Mom?"  


Yeah...two thumbs down from me!  

7 comments:

Sarah Q said...

Yeah, I told my husband when I saw the previews that no way in hell would he ever get a hall pass from me.

I know that he'd find some strange that very night. I'm not stupid.

Andrea said...

That's one VERY smart 6 year old boy!!!

AmishMexican519 said...

Yeah....there is a good chance one of us would die if given a week off.

Nikki B. said...

AmishMexican519...funny stuff! one of you would def die. if not immediately, then later from AIDS, or hep C...or murdered by your wives upon return! murder sounds harsh...maybe dismembered!

Kameron said...

Yeah, i don't buy it either. I will skip this one...Bwahahahaaha. I said that like I ever get to go to the movies. I will skip it even on DVD!

This Daddy said...

First of all, Husbands know there is NO such thing as a week off. Its a lie, trap...something to catch us men doing what we want to do but what we shouldnt be doing. While I wouldnt show at the Applebee's, I know that I would keep it in my pants for the fact that I am scared of the woman I married. John Bobbit type scared. And I will take my hall pass in the form of porn and be just fine with that

Kimmy said...

Yeah, my man would NEVER get a hall pass from me, that's for sure!! I trust him not to screw around on me anyway....but then I do get all paranoid when he hangs out with certain friends. He's not that way though. Thankfully! He and a buddy of his were just at a bar the other night making comment that it's nice to hang out without having one of the married friends trying to "hook up".