Ewwwwww

OMG...most people probably wouldn't share this, but if you were a young girl...or have a young girl...or had a girl who was young once...you've probably experienced this -- relax boys...i'm not talking about Aunt Flo!!

Anyway...I was combing my little girls hair Friday morning before she left for the weekend with friend...and lo and behold...LICE!! OH MY!!!!!

We had to cancel on her friend, run to Wal-Mart...I bought every shampoo known to man...tons of detergent with bleach...the whole works. Now I will spend the next 48 hours washing, rinsing and repeating on my daughter. Washing every linen, towel and article of clothing in my kids rooms...going through my daughters hair literally strand by strand to make sure every single last nit is gone!!!! And...that's only if she's the only one who has it....God save me if any of the rest of us have it.

I'm thinking I should just burn the place to the ground, claim the insurance and move on!!! The insurance company might suspect arson when the dog makes it out alive, so here's my story...stay with me....

"I don't know what happened Mr. Officer....While I was finishing off my 2nd bottle of wine...whilst trying to drink my troubles away...which, by the way, i most likely resort to because my parents were mean to me. Anyway...in my stupor i go to light up a fag and still have some of the bleach from all the laundry on my shirt...my shirt just BURSTS into flames. My husband...with sex the furthest thing from his mind and no other motive other than trying to save me, of course....rips my shirt off and flings it into my mountainous pile of laundry...you know all the laundry from the lice. And then, to my surprise, THAT just bursts into flames and the whole house went up with it. "

We round up the children, run as far as we can from the house...and then claim that on insurance.

Do you think that'll fly??? Kids...if I didn't love my daughter so much...I would simply shave her head and change her name to Tom.