Monday, June 30, 2008

On a serious note...

There's a splinter in your WHAT?!?

So, here's one you probably haven't heard......

The kids were showering the other kind of resembled a drive thru car wash. We were rotating them in, sudsing them up, rinsing them off, buffing them dry, then on to the next. I was drying Jack and he was complaining about his penis His complaints reminded me of Avery at about Jack's age when Avery put soap...well...he put soap inside his penis. You guys probably know about this and can remember back when you were about 5 and made this once in a lifetime mistake. But, for the ladies who haven't been around little's kind of a rite of passage on being a boy. I guess...thinking they must be clean from the inside out...or, out of untamed curiousity, little boys will, at some point in their lives, put soap in their penis.

ANYWAY! Back to Jack...he was really whining and complaining, and I kept thinking the thing should have stopped burning by, I decided to investigate. He's laying down screaming in pain, buck naked on the bathroom floor...Avery is in the background yelling "I told you not to put soap in it," and Lily...well, she and I are just both wondering how we're going to survive another 12-15 years with these boys. After a close inspection I find a little something on his penis. I'm looking at his thing, with this thing inside it....come to find out...the kid has a splinter on his penis. At this point you may be asking yourself the same question I was asking myself....HOW IN THE HELL, do you get a SPLINTER in your PENIS!!!

So, I said, "Jack, how in the HECK do you get a splinter IN YOUR PENIS?!?" His answer..."My sword!" I've told you that the kid has issues with underwear and pretty much clothing in general. He is ALWAYS school, the teachers always ask what happened to his underwear. Anyway....going commando is no issue if your weapon is a steel pistol. But, when your weapon is a wooden sword and that weapon is shoved into your pants while on your way to just MIGHT get a splinter in your penis.

I held Jack down while Jake removed the splinter and we just may have traumatized the child for life!!!