The post in which I curse, A LOT...

Ya wanna know something that drives me up the fuckin' wall? The T9 or iTap...whatever it's called...on my cell phone that finishes words for me when I text.

The majority of the time, it's a handy little feature. However, I wish the damned thing would refrain from trying to censor me!

Why should my celly care if I want to say shit, or fuck, or ass, or bitch, or goddamncocksuckingmotherfucker!?!

Whilst trying to send a text containing the word "fuckin" to a friend...my T9 predicted that I was trying to type one of the following words:

Dualgo
Dualim
Evalin
Duckgo
Evalgo
Dualho
Dualgm
Duckim
Evalim
Duckho
Evalho
Duckgm
Dualio
Duckio
Ducki6

Duckho-A, man...just let me say Fuckin already, wouldya??? Besides...in the words of one Mr. Robert Brown...IT'S MY PEROGATIVE!!

Sad Really TV...

I'll admit, I watched the train wreck that aired on TLC last night. I'm not proud of myself and am already regretting my decision a little bit, but whatever.

In my defense, the girl LOVES the show. So, she and I spent a little time together, sans people with penises, to watch...the train wreck!!

Just to let you know, I could care less about those two humans and their litter, my beef here is with "Reality TV", in general...

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "REALITY TV"!!!!
Maybe you guys were privy to this before now...but, it just dawned on me last night. There is NO SUCH THING. PERIOD.

Once you let cameras into your home to film your "everyday life," it becomes not so "everyday" anymore. Your asked to repeat what you just said so they can capture it on film, so now, there is a script...maybe you change how you look since you'll be seen by millions...maybe the network showers you with trips and shitloads of money...all of which, completely changes "everyday life."

Exit the reality part of "Reality TV."

Not to mention, money changes you. Indubitibly! The new flow of income wraps around you, wringing out any last shred of "reality" that might've remained.

Maybe the cash gives you a little extra confidence to say what you've been feeling all along, or stand up for yourself...be a little more brazen. Maybe it shows you something you never knew you always wanted. Something that was out of your reach before...but, now is easily taken. Nonetheless, it changes you.

It's sad, really.

Maybe that's what they should call it, "Sad Really TV."

Me? I'm happy with my middle class mediocrity.

Where I can wear the same pajama pants all day long, for three days in a row, with no one to impress. Where I can yell at my kids and make ridiculous parenting mistakes without ridicule. Where I'm the one to wipe away my children's tears, bandage their bloody knees, sit up with them when they are sick, and laugh with them as often as possible. Where my husband and I travel together, sleep together, parent together, dream together, love each other immensely and laugh together as often as possible.

Monday, Monday...

It's a holiday, but my kids are in school today to make up a snow day. The little one is not crying anymore, because he now understands what a make-up day is.

Aaaaaand they strategically scheduled Field Day for today so that slacker parents like me, wouldn't keep their kids out of school anyway and have an extra night to party spend quality time together.

So, I'm playing along here...

This is the topic...

How did you and your significant other meet? and if you don't have a significant other at the moment then what would be your dream way to meet him?
Aaaaaaand this will take you to my post about the greatest story of my life! But, if you don't feel like travelling, here it is:

The Story of Us

This is the tale of how I met and fell in love with The One...

My husband is always bitchingI've noticed that during my blog-therapy sessions...I spend a lot of time throwing The One "under the bus."

Let me get this out of the way first before I begin one of the greatest stories of my life. Honey...Shmoopy...sweet, sweet Love of my Life...let this be both a rude awakening and a public apology. Rude awakening: DUDE...YOU'RE NOT PERFECT!! Public apology: I'm sorry I'm always "throwing you under the bus"...but, look on the bright side...at least I'm bitching on my blog and not in your ear!!

Let me take you back to 1991. I was 15 and have to tell this detail of our story from The One's point of view. He was in the 7-11 getting something to drink and I come in. He says that when he saw me, everyone disappeared...he says everything was in slow motion...he thought I was beautiful and...I don't want to say it was love at first sight, that's so cliche and isn't his style. Let's just say that he was "sprung!" In his words, "this moment in 7-11 is the clearest memory he has from his entire life." To this day, he still remembers what I was wearing and what I was buying at the store. He had to meet me.

He starts asking around to find out who this amazingly, incredibly, breath-takingly...alright, I'll stop...beautiful girl was. He finds out that I am a friend of one of his good friends' girlfriend. She starts talking to me telling me that this guy really wants to go out with me...yada, yada, yada. I see a picture of him and agree. So, we set up a double date.

We go on our date...to ride go carts and play big ball golf...and we clicked immediately. We talked ALL the time, but didn't go on a whole lot of dates because neither one of us could drive. We were together for most of the school year and the summer. I kinda fell in love with him...I don't think I really knew what it was then...I knew I liked him A LOT...but, I didn't know it was love. I was 15...I didn't know JACK SHIT!! Mom...if you're reading this...please look away...scroll down a little bit and just PLEASE...FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE AND GOOD...skip this next sentence!!! That summer, he was my "first."

Silly high school stuff got in the way and after that summer we broke up. Okay, honey...I'll throw myself under the bus...I cheated on him!! I'm sorry, love...how was I supposed to know that I didn't have to look anymore...how was I supposed to know that I had already met The One!!! I WAS FIFTEEN...just 5 years older than a 10 year old...just a rookie teenager!! We didn't have much to do with each other for the rest of our high school days. I tried to apologize because I couldn't quit thinking about him...for years I missed him. I went off to college and would still surprise myself missing him. I would have dreams about him and think about him randomly.

Now to April, 1996...the end of my first year in college. I came home for a weekend to hang out with old friends. We went to a concert in Dallas and bumped into some of the guys we went to high school with. This is the memory that is clearest in my mind from my entire life. Deep Blue Something was playing "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and in my mind...the record scratched, everything was silent and the world moved in slow motion. I saw The One at the back of his group of friends. We were in the middle of this huge crowd and everyone disappeared...I only saw him! Our eyes met and he looked at me in a way that I'll never forget. He raised his eyebrows, his eyes lit up, and smiled the sexiest smile...a smile that I had seen plenty of times, but had taken for granted! In that moment...barely 19 years old...I knew I would never take that smile for granted EVER, EVER again!! We began talking that night, and the next, and the next, and the next....

From there, we built the foundation of one of the most incredible relationships I've ever seen or even heard of. It was built out of admiration, honesty, communication, understanding, compassion, commitment, compromise, laughter, friendship, fidelity, respect, pillow-talk, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...more love than anyone can imagine! It is truly AMAZING what he and I have. This is not just my distorted view of reality, either. Ask anyone who knows us and they will all agree!

The One is my soul mate...we were built for each other...he is the LOVE OF MY LIFE!

He's my lobster!

Have a great holiday!

Hair today, gone tomorrow...

With both of the boys sporting fresh new mohawks...

The One thought it would be HILARIOUS to try something new on his face.



It's my fault, though. I told him I wanted to do "creepy, sleazy pedophile" and "innocent schoolgirl" for our Freaky Friday Role Play Night...I just had no idea he would take it this far!! I can't even look at him without laughing!!

I think it's time to put the clippers away, before someone gets hurt!!

Vloggity, Vlog, Vlog...Vol 4...

Head over to The Fort to play along with this Vlog Carnival that Bubbles has going on. It's pretty simple. You get in front of a video camera and talk about an emotion you had this week.

On this episode of Vlogemo...I rant. And when I rant, I swear. You've been warned!

Also...I don't know why it's in black and white...my kids were using the camera, so, I think it's safe to assume that they had something to do with it!!

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The evolution of Jack...

My baby is growing up.

I have seriously mixed emotions about it.

I'm looking at my kids and realizing that those endless baby days are behind us and we are right around the corner from their adolesence. While that thought mostly scares the ever lovin' shit out of me...it also makes me a little bit sad.

For all of his life, TOWGAWM has had this great, curly hair. I loved it...honestly, everyone did. Family, friends, teachers, even strangers would comment on the kids hair. It was his thing...he was like fucking Samson!


I held my breath with each trim wondering if this was the one when his curls would disappear. They held on for a long time, but have recently begun to fade. So, last week, for the first time in his life...I shaved the kids' head. While I could never picture anything but curls, framing my baby boy's face, I must admit...


...he rocks his 'hawk pretty EFFING HARD!!

I ♥ Faces

I decided to enter the contest over at I ♥ Faces this week since I'm finally playing around with editting my pics. Head over to I ♥ Faces to see some great photos or to enter yourself.


The Fine Print
"I am submitting this photo into the www.iheartfaces.com Blurb Book photo contest. I am granting I ♥ Faces permission to use my photo in a printed version of a book for commercial use and possibly advertising of a photo book on both the Blurb and I ♥ Faces web sites."