Don't hold this against me...

I was at a friends house the other night and he whips out these classic country CD's...like this huge boxed set. The kind that some dear member of his family probably bought for the low, low price of $19.95...plus $6.95 shipping and handling. I bet they even got some Kinoki Detox Foot Pads thrown in for free!

So, I was taken back to my childhhood and the music I listened to with my family. At all of our family functions...Christmases, birthdays, summer-time barbecues...my Grandy-John and my Uncle would play the guitar while my aunt sang. They would sing those classic country songs...not Garth Brooks...no, I'm talking classic! I'm talking Willie, Waylon and the Boys!!!

By the power of Greyskull....I am the power!!!

Me: C'mon buddy, we have to run to the store.

Jack: But, I'm playing video games.

Me: There, I paused it, now let's go.

Jack: Oh man...now I'm gonna lose and it's gonna be over when we get back.

Me: No it won't...I paused it, it will be exactly where you left it.

Jack: How do you know?

Me: Because...I'm the Mom and I know things.

Jack: Because you're the Mom and you're the Master.

Me: Yes, son...because I am the Master of the Universe...say it.

Jack: (quizzically) Mom is the Master of the Universe??"

Me: Good job...now buckle up!



Brought back so many memories of my brother pinning me to the ground and telling me that he wouldn't let me up until I said, "You are the master." He would say, "Who is the master?"...I would say, "You are." He would say, "Say, Rusty is the Master." I would say, "Rusty is a scumbag." He would then threaten my life and start tickling me while I was being held down...which is my kryptonite! Finally, I would fold and say it, "Rusty, you are the Master."He would let me go....for the time being, anyway!

No wonder I'm so claustrophobic!!!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

The bedtime routine has always been tough.

I remember how tiring it used to be teaching a newborn about the difference between day and night. I remember how wild it was trying to wind a toddler down at the end of the day. I remember when Avery was new to a big boy bed and would get up over and over again to try to get out of sleeping...sometimes I would return him to his room 20 times in one night! I remember doing this all at the same time...all in one night...nursing Jack as a newborn, singing Lily to sleep and talking Avery into sleeping for a little while...all at the SAME TIME. I look back at those days and wonder how I survived. But, I did and now my challenges are a little different.

This is our new bedtime routine...

The kids clear the table while Jake makes himself comfy on the couch. I begin cleaning the kitchen. Jake signs folders, checks homework and listens to Lily read...he does all of this whilst still firmly planted on said couch and with one eye on whatever ball game is on. Since half of his attention is on the ballgame and the other half is pretending to listen to Lily read...I am left screaming at the top of my lungs for the boys to get ready for bed...as I have to be heard over the running water since I'm washing dishes, the garbage disposal, the ballgame, Lily's reading and whatever commotion the boys are causing. Every 3 minutes...I scream at the boys which prompts Jake to echo my screams in order to keep up the charade that he is actually helping out! This goes on for about 25-30 minutes. Just about the time that I finish the kitchen, the chaos has crescendoed to an unbareable intensity and I'm ready to explode. Through clenched teeth and with an anger in my voice that would make the devil himself a little afraid...I shriek, "The beatings are about to begin!!!" The children scatter like roaches and the silence that ensues is golden...I bathe in it for a few minutes, then take a deep breath, then go in to finish the job.

When I walk into their rooms, the devil-lady is gone and their Mommy has returned. One at a time, I sit down with each of them. We chit chat for a few minutes, I talk about silly things with Lily, about her friends and what happended at school. Avery and I talk about things that he knows that I surely do not. Jack and I will sing songs and I rub his back. Before I kiss them goodnight, I always ask them..."Who's the best little boy/girl in the whole world?" They will say, "Me?", sometimes quizzically, sometimes they will rattle off a list of other boys and girls just to be silly, then they will smile and say, "I am." Then, I say, "Who's the luckiest Mommy in the whole world?"...to that they say, "You are." I kiss each of them on the bridge of their nose, which is my favorite place on each of their faces...and the day is done.

It's magical...my day goes from utter pandemonium to pure pleasure in a matter of minutes. I wouldn't change a second of it...not the screaming, not the chaos, not the fighting...none of it...for the reward at the end of the day is just too, too sweet!

Patience is NOT MY virtue...

Patience is something I really need to work on. I don't think I've ever been a patient person and I think it's really annoying...to me and to others.

I rush everything...I think that's why this nursing school thing is already such a challenge for me. I guess I don't have too many things that I've had to really wait for...or work really, really hard for. Wait...this makes me sound like a spoiled brat. I guess it makes me sound that way because I kinda am...UGHHHH...who wants to admit that!!!! Okay, you can't change what you don't acknowledge...so, Step 1...acknowledge that you're a spoiled, rottten, brat...CHECK!

In high school, I never had to study to make straight A's...it didn't work that way in college right out of high school, so I couldn't hack it. I was even really impatient when it came to getting married. Jake and I wanted to get married on the beach in Mexico, but we had to wait 2 weeks for a blood test and I didn't want to wait...part of it was timing because Joey was out of the hospital...but mostly, it was beacause I didn't want to wait 2 weeks...so we hopped a plane to Vegas and tied the knot.

I remember being horribly impatient when I was pregnant and I remember begging my doctor to deliver those kids just a few days earlier than he wanted. Hell...I won't even let Jack poop while we're out shopping or out to eat because he is a slow pooper and takes his sweet time and I don't have the patience to stand in the public restroom and wait for him. I'm probably doing serious psychological damage to the child by rushing his bowels the way I do!!!

So, it's settled...I'm going to get a jump on my New Year's Resolution this year and REALLY try to learn to be patient!

I'm concerned...

I'm not looking forward to Tuesday. I was kinda hoping Allen Funt was going to do a press release and yell..."Ha Ha Ha, America...we got you, you're all on Candid Camera!" But, I'm starting to think these nominees are for real!!!

I don't know much about politics, but I do know that this election seems like a HUGE CROCK!!!!

“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters

Oh What a Night..

We had a blast...the kids ended up choosing a witch, an army man, and Darth Maul. The kids scored butt-loads of candy, but unfortunately, over 3/4 of it was poisoned, damaged, or questionable and had to be confiscated by Jake and I. That's our story and we're sticking to it!

This was the first year that we didn't trick-or-treat with all the kids. Lily had more important things to do. She was invited to a party and trick-or-treated with her friend Kody from school. She was so cute...took a shower, wanted to crimp and streak her hair, painted her nails....oh man...I'm not ready for all that. The little boy even called her to make sure she was coming...we better buckle our seatbelts!!!

Hope ya'll had fun...we sure did!

The Big Day...

These pics are from the festival on Wednesday night...I don't know what the kids will decide to be tonight. But, I do know it won't cost me a dime! WooHoooo!

First we have a basketball player (Ave's buddy down the street) and Avery the army man...



Next, the cutest witch ever who didn't want to mess up her rad red highlights with a silly witch hat...



Here's Lord Sidious from Star Wars...most people probably don't even know the guy, hell I don't..and we had to do lots of explaining at the carnival...but Jack instructed me on how to paint his face and when I found a pic online to check my work...Jack did a pretty good job.

The first one is Lord Sidious before the carnival, looking rather sinister...



This one is of Lord Sidious when we told him it was time to leave...still looking sinister, and now scaring the bejeezus out of me....little kids are creepy when they're mad, especially when made up to look like lords of the dark side...



Lastly, our little hot dog...funny, he has a sinister look, as well...the "you're gonna be so pissed when you find out where I'm going to pee" kind of sinister look. Nope..that's utter humiliation...



Ya'll have fun...I'm sure we will!!!