It’s what I do, apparently!
Last night, I was subbing for a friend’s Bunco group, and I was in the company of pretty much strangers. I’d played Bunco with a few of them before, but, mostly strangers.
The hostess’s husband was hanging around for just a bit, before hightailing it out of the bitch-fest (an utter bitch-fest, complete with two gay dudes).
A few of us were chatting on the back porch, over a smoke, and I commented on the dude’s perfectly manicured lawn.
He mentioned that it’s an obsession of his, and that we’ve all got ‘em and the lawn is his.
That comment led to him posing the question, “So, what are y’all’s obsessions?”
There was awkward silence.
I hate awkward silences, and usually try to fill it, and apparently, will even fill it with wildly inappropriate things, just for the sake of filling it.
I answered, “Porn,” and sipped my cocktail, and took a drag off of my fag.
Everyone laughed, which was the reaction I was going for, and expected, and when that settled, he pursued, “So, what kind of porn do you watch? What are your favorite websites?”
*Wow…he got me. I did not expect this!*
At this point, I’ve made myself uncomfortable. I opened up a can with this guy, who doesn’t know me from Adam, and now I’m stuck. Now, I realize why I apply social filters to my mouthy ass, when I’m around strangers. This is why. To prevent this kind of situation.
I sidestepped, “Uh …ummm…porn’s porn, right? I was….”
Backed into a corner (by my own doing) and not really wanting to discuss porn with some strange dude, I did the only thing I knew to do. I offered my hand, and said, “Hi! We haven’t met. I’m Nikki. And sometimes I say inappropriate shit, just for the hell of it.”