Friday, December 12, 2008

Conspiracy Theory

You know those emails that ramble on and on about some poor kid dying of cancer, or some photo of clouds in the form of God's hand reaching from the heavens captured on film...or the one about the McPlayPlaces, you know, the rattlesnakes in the ball pit! Those emails that either tug at your heartstrings, piss you off royally, fill you with guilt, or make you want to move into a storm shelter and withdraw from society completely!

I got one of those emails today...maybe you've gotten it already. The one about the guards of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Washington D.C. Have you seen it? It lists the duties and qualifications of the guards. It says that they can't drink or curse for the 2 years that they serve as guard and for the rest of their lives!!! Well, that puts me out of the running fo sho!!!

Anyway...it lists all these crazy facts about something which I know nothing about. So, initially...I believe every word of it. Then I realize that it might be one of THOSE emails, so I go directly to Snopes to check it out. I search for it...it pops up immediately...and while some of the not-so-shocking facts are true...most of the ones that were surprising, were completly made up. Like, the guard can drink and curse while they are off-duty! Whew, maybe there is a chance for me, after all!! So, after reading the explanation on Snopes...I feel much better...I feel like I have investigated this thoroughly and have sniffed out the truth!

After finding the truth...I'm always a little pissed. I wasted precious time researching this bullshit story! I mean...who sits around and comes up with this crap? Is it a global game of "Telephone"...where you sit in a circle, whisper something to your neighbor, then they pass it on...by the time it makes it all the way around...it's not AT ALL what you said to begin with!

But then,...I got to thinking again! What if the poeple at Snopes are just professional bull-shitters? What if they just pull this shit straight out their asses, put it on a plate, serve it with a beautiful garnish and I waltz in and eat it up! How do I know if what I read on Snopes is true? Is there a Snopes-type website for websites like Snopes?

Maybe it's all just a conspiracy...maybe the people at Snopes make these stupid stories up, just to support their own website. That's my theory...what do you think?

2 comments:

Kameron said...

Ha! I have always wondered how they became the authority on sniffing out BS!!What cracks me up is that people want you to believe the ones that they think are tru and they put a link to the Snopes story. I usually just delete those emails. I figure I have enough common sense not to sniff perfume from some A-hole wandering a parking lot and the like!

kay said...

Wow, you're right. I never really thought about the people running Snopes. But those e-amil DO piss me off! Especially when my aunts will send me ones that are clearly fabricated, but that they believe are true. What a waste of time!